Jennifer Sizemore--mother, author, autism blogger, lifelong learner, murder-mystery writer, and friend to all

Sadness fills my heart as I contemplate the death of Jennifer Sizemore from the effects of COVID.

Jennifer Sizemore

In October 2020, Jennifer reached out to me via Facebook. She had once been my English student at Mountain Home Junior School in Mountain Home, Idaho. She was a 9^th grader, and one of the shyest students I have ever known. Yet, she was friendly to everyone and to me.

She wanted help with her writing, so she could begin writing a blog and other things. So we began visiting via Zoom almost every Wednesday after that. During various sessions, we reminisced about the 9^th grade English class and how she felt being in the class. I was so surprised how vivid the details were when she would explain this or that. Sometimes, I had to say, “I do not remember that at all or I vaguely remember it.” She would just laugh and continue her stories.

Of course, there were many things I did remember about her and what we were learning. For example, during class, students would read aloud some passage from a book or a short story we were reading. I remember Jennifer trying to hide out in class so she wouldn’t have to do that. But in a class of 24 or so, it’s hard to not be visible, even if you were diminutive in stature like Jennifer. I wanted all students to participate and learn, so I called on her, and she responded, albeit a bit reluctantly. One day, we were reading Romeo and Juliet, and I stopped by Jennifer’s desk and ask her to play one of the parts. She quietly said yes, and on we went.

Jennifer and her sister

When it came her time, she read as if she were Lady Montague in person. When she finished her first read, the whole class stopped and turned to her. Here was the shyest student in class; yet she spoke with vigor like she knew exactly what the character would say and how she would say it! She stunned everyone.

Part of a project assignment during Romeo and Juliet, students had to choose a section of the play or a soliloquy, memorize it, and then perform it for the entire class. You can imagine the groans from everyone—but not Jennifer. Soon, though, everyone started getting into their parts. They seemed to be loving their parts and anticipating the days when they had to perform. During this time, faculty members came to me and asked, “When are you going to be finishing your Shakespeare section?” When I asked why, they said, “These students are practicing in my classroom and quoting lines from Shakespeare everywhere they are.” “Isn’t learning fun and exciting” was my response.

When the time came to present, everyone came prepared. Jennifer took center stage and did her soliloquy. She was magnificent, poised, and professional! The class was enchanted by her and the eloquence with how she performed. They clapped and clapped and clapped. Jennifer set down and didn’t say anything although you could see a huge smile on her face. She was now in her element!

When we began writing and coaching sessions in October 2020, she confessed to me that day in class was one of the happiest days she had ever experienced and grew to love drama and being in plays. She even lettered in speech and drama group her senior year and continued to participate in plays after high school. Those were the most fun times she had she would often say. She even wrote one of her essay about the euphoria she felt by being on stage.

One of the great talents that came out of all this was her wish to write. She and I worked diligently for months. Each Wednesday when we met over Zoom, she had completed a new writing assignment. She was so diligent with each assignment. They were well written. Sometimes, she would say, “Oh, so many memories and topics flooded into my head, and this is the one I wanted to write about this week.” In total, she wrote more than 40 essays for me—all about her growing up, the incredible times she had, some challenging times, and the times when she grew the most.

Another love of hers was creating music. She told me that she taught herself how to play the piano. She sent me a few of her musical creations, which I loved because they were so soft, inviting, and soothing. I urged her to write more and maybe put some of her thoughts as words for the songs.  

She also thoroughly enjoyed writing murder mysteries and then presenting them. She had done a couple and began calling various groups around the Mountain Home and Boise areas. When I last talked to her, she and her niece were writing a murder mystery for the local library. She was so excited to be moving out of her comfort zone and fulfilling a dream.

Jennifer and her niece

One of her biggest achievements during our writing sessions was her creation of a blog on autism. She began writing for it and publishing articles. People were beginning to read it, after posting it on Facebook, LinkedIn, and other social media. She was excited about writing about autism and helping parents and others through autism challenges with their children. Her experiences with Solon had prepared her well to help others. She looked forward to expanding her blog. (You can read her blog here: https://thepuzzlepiece01142007.blogspot.com/.)

Then, on September 2, she told me she still wanted to meet with me, but she had a frog in her throat and that she would look drastically different. I asked her why, and she said she wore dentures, and she would not be wearing them during the session because of the pain they caused her. When we met over Zoom, the frog was deep in their throat and her chest, and she didn’t sound very well. Plus, she looked so different without her dentures. She couldn’t smile that famous smile of hers.

Not a week later, she messaged, “Just keeping you posted. I have Covid-19 a lousy chest x ray and bad oxygen levels. I'm being admitted into the hospital.”

On September 9, we had this conversation:

Darrel: How are you doing today? Hopefully better. Still in the hospital?”

Jennifer: “Yes. Not sure how long I will be stuck here. I have COVID pneumonia. My oxygen levels are messed up. They are giving me 100% oxygen right now. It's difficult to walk, and I lose control of my breath.”

Darrel: “With time and work, you will do well.....Be courageous!”

Jennifer: “I am trying, but I am so tired.”

Darrel: “Well, you have to rest in order to heal your body.”

Jennifer: “I just took my meds so I'm headed to bed. Please keep praying for me. I know I need them.”

On September 10, Jennifer messaged me and asked, “Could you pray for me please? I mean on here? [meaning via messenger] Something I can read later to help give me a little hope? And I did! Once I sent it, she immediately replied, “Thank you. I will read it daily.”

On September 15, our Messenger conversation went something like this:

Darrel: “Jennifer, how are you doing today? I hope better and better.”

Jennifer: “Still at the hospital. But there has been a little improvement in my lungs, and my chest is finally starting to circulate air on its own.”

Darrel: “Can you video chat with Solon [her 15-year-old autistic son] so he knows you are improving? I am assuming you are doing that already. Do they let you have your computer so you can write or use your phone to write our next story?”

Jennifer: “No at the moment sitting up is a success. I miss Solon. It's been so discouraging here. I have seen Solon on video once. He was telling me he loved me in sign language. He’s been making baked goodies for my return but keeps eating them lol.” Still happy, still thinking about Solon.

Solon

She then told me about Bob and his girlfriend Kathy. Solon was staying with them while Jennifer was in the hospital, attempting to get better. When I asked her about how Solon was doing with them, she said, “Kathy was telling me that she was showing him pictures of me  and he started telling her how pretty his mommy is. And that he talks about me all day long and can't wait til I can see him again. [Not having Solon near me] makes this recovery more difficult. I want to be with him so badly, and I feel so hopeless.”

After a small conversation on September 16, I never heard from her again.

Since hearing about her death from one of her good friends, I have felt sadness—sadness that Jennifer did not make it out of the hospital. Sadness that she didn’t get to see Solon again. Sadness that she cannot continue to further develop her talents. Sadness that I didn’t receive another essay to read and to smile about her growth. I figure, though, that her last essay would have been about Solon and how much she loved him and wanted to watch him grow and develop and learn so many things.

Jennifer loved Solon and loved talking about him during our conversations. Her blog was full of principles she had learned as a mother of an autistic child. She was so proud of Solon when he won an academic award and sent me a photo.

Solon receiving his academic award

Jennifer rose from humble beginnings, a life of being shy and at times afraid, earned a bachelor’s and master’s degree, was a single mother for many years, suffered ailments and sickness, wrote songs and murder mysteries, taught herself to play the piano, created and published an autism blog, and was a mother of three, and became a friend to many.

May you rest in peace, Jennifer! Thank you for your kindness and compassion and willingness to share your life with us. You are physically gone, but your memories and enormous smile still radiate through your written words and songs.

Jennifer and her famous smile

I am sure you continue your writing there without any hesitation or wondering what you should write about. It will now flow more easily, and we cannot wait to read all of it, especially your new murder-mysteries, now that you have met some very interesting characters!