Leadership Lessons: Twenty ways to stand out as an exceptional leader in challenging times.

From https://transformationmag.com/tcm-may-2025, pp. 8-11.

Over the years, I have had plenty of opportunities to observe all kinds of leaders—good ones, not so good ones, emerging leaders, ones who have forgotten what it means to be leaders, and exceptional ones. You can usually tell the difference within a short period of time when a leader falls as you work with them.

Amazingly, we all possess some level of leadership. Some try not to be leaders because it often carries with it a burden of responsibility that many do not want to carry. Others shy away from it completely and hide the talents. Some dabble with leadership, thinking that in time they can become leaders while many are leaders because they support other leaders. Some strive diligently to be leaders in everything that they do.

Whatever leadership category you align with—or wish to align with—the following 20 summaries of leadership qualities in challenging times may help you with you enhance your leadership, propel you to become more effective leaders, and motivate you to become trailblazer no matter where you are.

1. Make leadership a priority—For me, I chose to make leadership a priority, and you have that choice, too. It seemed, though, that throughout my life, beginning in first grade, I leaned into leadership; I became the captain of our play army on the school grounds. I even read all of the biographies of US presidents in 4th grade. Although I don’t think I knew much about what a leader was, I paddled along in the current flowing downstream, picking up speed and dexterity as I maneuvered along the way. It was when I started my college life at age 23 did I make leadership a priority.

2. Be a forward thinker, a visionary that allows you to see “afar off”—Exceptional leaders are always forward-thinking beings—yes, even visionaries! You must be looking at both the past, present, and future when working to become a leader.

3. Develop a mindset of willingness and improvement improve—True leaders are always willing to evolve. Improvement does not necessarily mean enrolled in college courses or degrees. Rather, it means growing through learning, reading, serving, teaching, facilitating, meditating, and helping others.

4. Be present in all that you do—What does “being present” actually mean? It means “being engaged” in the moment. I have been to many community functions, including political events, where people greet you and attempt to have a conversation, but their eyes wander around the room, looking for someone else to talk to. The “being present” people look you in the eye and are engaged with you and your conversation. They listen and pay attention.

5. Always look at the whole picture and become holistic—Just looking beyond the end of your nose will not cut it in the leadership movement forward. You must see the holistic picture, so you see the whole and then break it down in pieces. It is a challenge, but if you do, you will see things you may never have seen before and do things you didn’t think you could ever do.

6. Share what you know with others, particularly your vision and mission—As a leader, you are more prone to be successful if you understand your personal vision and your organization’s vision. You understand the goals and strategies of the mission and strive to make them happen by helping others to also see the big picture and help them put all the pieces together, so you move along as a great team.

7. Develop an agile mind and a propensity to change—You must be ready to change even before the change happens, meaning you must prepare yourself and understand that change will happen, with you or without you. Leaders are change agents, ready and willing to lead the way forward and participate in the process.

8. Have a hunger and a motivation to learn—Learning is a beautiful thing, especially if you use it appropriately to help others and yourself to become better and achieve great things. Having a hunger and a motivation to learn demonstrates to others that you are an emerging leader who seeks learning to enhance the way you do business in positive and robust ways.

9. Populate your mind with positive ideas and thoughts—This world wrecks negativity, contention, and anger. It is easy to get caught up in the negative debris and lose your way. Thus, populating your mind with positive outlooks will propel you out of the darkness of negativity into the light of positivity. You will be happier, feel less burdened, and be more willing to reach out and help others through their challenges.

10. Join the right team—For those who have played sports, played in bands, sung in choirs, or been a part of any team effort understand that to be on the right team and, especially play as a team, will reap more benefits than you can imagine. Being on the right team means that you are a team player. Sometimes you are the leader; other times you are the supporter; other times you are the motivator; and often you are all three.

11. Set your course, focus on your goals, and work to achieve them—Plan, get into action, and move forward. You can help clients and yourself by setting a course and goals and then implementing strategies to achieve them. Continue to lean forward and develop plans to overcome the obstacles and then do what needs to be done to accomplish them.

12. Communicate effectively—Perhaps nothing is more important than communicating with others within an organization and your family. Lack of communication is one of the major causes of divorce, break ups, and ineffective teams. Learn how to communicate effectively and harmony will prevail.

13. Have a sense of urgency—Leaders have a bit of engrained hustle and urgency in their steps. It doesn’t mean that you are in a hurry. Having a sense of urgency gives you the momentum to move forward in judicious ways.

14. Practice responsibility and accountability—Sometimes the “me” in all of us prohibits us to from taking responsibility and being accountable for our actions. There are so many people, things, or events that you can blame and offload responsibility. The key is to become responsible and accountable for your own choices and actions and understand that each choice has a consequence.

15. Gain a diversified knowledge—Gaining a working knowledge of many things and how they align with each other is important. A diverse knowledge allows you more flexibility in the workplace and any community in which you live and/or work.

16. Become an excellent listener—In today’s society of so much chaos and confusion about so many things, it is imperative to be a good, active listener, one who pays attention in a conversation, not trying to dominate any exchange of ideas. Listen and learn.

17. Use the resources and gifts that you have been given—I am a firm believer that we have been given gifts that we must utilize and improve upon. For example, I served a mission for my Church in southern Chile. I learned Spanish and felt it was a gift. Thus, I made it a goal in my life that I would keep up my Spanish. I read books in Spanish. I tried to speak Spanish wherever I went. I learned vocabulary in other areas. While I may not be a true native speaker, I do well in most settings.

18. Be committed—One of the biggest challenges I see today is the sway towards being non-committal. It seems that many people feel that if they do not commit to something or even someone, they will not have to be disappointed. Yet, being committed to something only enhances one’s ability to move forward with courage and hope.

19. Be trustworthy and trusted—There are few leadership qualities that are more important than being trustworthy and trusted. Back in my father’s day, a handshake was good enough for anything. My father was trustworthy, and people trusted him to do so many things. It is one of those qualities that he often talked about. You should strive to be trusted at your word.

20. Love, lift, lead, inspire, and invite—Exceptional leaders love, lift, lead, inspire, and invite others in and out of the organization to be better. They just exude goodness and create opportunities for people to want to be better in everything that they do. Do you embody this energy?

While leadership is an art form, it also lies fallow within us until we realize that we already possess leadership skills and qualities that can be nurtured and enhanced. Be intentional in learning and teaching these skills to others. If so, your own leadership skills will be enriched.

 

“Six ways to expand your horizons in life and continually move forward”

How to Climb Out of Your Shell

I grew up in a small Idaho farming community, population 596, where pretty much everyone knew everyone. In my youth, I visited Utah, Yellowstone National Park, Oklahoma and Glacier National Park, and that’s pretty much it. I had chores; milked a cow; fed chickens, pigs and horses; worked on my Uncle’s and friend’s farms; moved sprinkler pipe; mowed lawns; and sold nightcrawlers to fishermen.

In reality, I didn’t get out much. I wasn’t necessarily shy, per se. Perhaps, the better word was a bit naïve about life in general. Then, something tremendous happened: I served a two-year mission for my Church in southern Chile, about 6,000-plus miles away from my home. It propelled me to climb out of my shell and “be up and doing!”

Since then, I have lived, worked and served in a variety of states and the Caribbean (Dominican Republic). I have had to be up and doing to survive and thrive in all these situations.

So, what helped me climb out of my shell? Here are six approaches that helped me:

1. First, I changed my mindset.

The question is: “How do I move from where I am to where I need to be?” For me, moving from a small community to a country like Chile with a different culture and language was absolutely mind-boggling. I really didn’t know the language, although I spent two months full time in a very intensive Spanish program. It was a shock when we landed to hear people speak so quickly. I turned to my companion and said, “Are you sure we are in the right country?” From that day, I was determined to learn the language, the culture, love the people, and do my very best. My mindset changed to focus on what I was asked to do, and I just did it. Consequently, I elevated my thoughts to where I need to be, and I continue to elevate them—all because I changed my mindset at the beginning of the experience.

2. I was willing to learn new things.

To improve yourself, no matter what the situation, you must be willing to learn new things. I am a proponent of “lifelong learning” because that’s what I have done over the years. In essence, I believe you are either progressing or retrogressing. There is no such thing as stagnation. You are either improving or taking a step back. Being a lifelong learner does not necessarily mean that you are working on degrees your entire life; rather, it means that you learn something new each day, week, month or even year. You can learn a new language, a new software program, how to write well, how to become a better coach/mentor, how to watercolor, and even how to make your bed each morning before you leave the house. Be willing to learn. Seek learning opportunities. Most progressive companies offer great training and educational benefits to enhance your skills. If you work for a business, take advantage!

3. I did things I had never done before.

I think of everything I had to do when I lived in Chile I had never done before—ride a bus, walk everywhere I went, learn a new language and culture, talk to everyone I met, use an umbrella, eat food that was definitely foreign (delicious, though!). Since I decided to change my mindset and to learn new things, it was easier for me to move forward and try things I had never done. I did my best not to worry about it. I just did them, and it became part of my DNA. Yes, there were some things I never ate again. I learned how to read a bus map. I just did what I needed to do, knowing that I would become a better person for doing it.

4. I learned from my not-so-good choices.

I confess: All choices I have made over time were not good, although most were. One major faux paus happened when I first began driving a truck during potato harvest. Being from Idaho, that’s what you did during potato harvest: pick potatoes, work on a potato combine, work in the cellar, or drive a truck once you had your driver’s license, which I obtained during my freshman year of high school. I was going up to gas up—in this case diesel up. I was not paying close enough attention and took the turn that led to the diesel pump, which was a big barrel on stilts, a little closer than I should have and clipped the pump’s nozzle, spinning diesel fuel all over the truck and ground. By the time we got it stopped, I was soaked in diesel and filled with remorse and guilt because of my stupidity. Thankfully, the owner of the farm was tolerant and kinder than he should have been. The result was I was much more careful and have tried to be a very astute and conscientious driver ever since then—no matter what I am driving.

5. I used mentors along the way to help me through the challenging times.

Mentors are life savers. My first companion in the mission field was exceptional! He had been a standout athlete at his school, spoke Spanish really well, walked amazingly fast, and taught me how to study and learn in ways I never thought imaginable. Despite a mere 1.5-year age difference, he was a giant in my eyes. The rest of my mission was patterned after how he taught me. Other mentors along the way helped me see things differently, asked tough questions, guided me through some challenging times, and offered counsel and advice that ultimately motivated me to do even better. I have taken what they have taught me and applied it in my own tutoring, mentoring and coaching. It has just aligned with me.

6. Finally, and most importantly, I relied on my family, particularly my wife.

To be honest, I married way up! My wife Joanne has been a saint. I am not the easiest person to live with, but her patience and kindness have helped me in all aspects of my life. During every degree program, she constantly supported me and reviewed every essay/article I ever wrote. During my dissertation writing, I wrote for hours every day for weeks. She would stop in to see how I was doing, reviewed and commented on what I had written, made delicious meals, and went on weekly dates with me just to make sure I saw the light of day and forgot about the challenges with writing and doing research for a dissertation. For that, I owe my all to her and my family.

Overall, the key to climbing out of your shell is to “be up and doing.” Changing your mindset, learning to do new and sometimes challenging things you have never done before, and utilizing great mentors along the way, particularly your family, are keys to success. It definitely will take great patience, persistence and diligence to continually move forward, with a few steps backwards here and there. But just keep moving in the direction where you want to go, and you will make it—eventually!

Read the entire March 2025 Transformation Coaching Magazine here: https://transformationmag.com/tcm-march-2025. My article is on pp. 24-27. 

“Making a Difference: Crossing guards are unsung protectors of the community”

 “Making a Difference: Crossing guards are unsung protectors of the community”

 Link to the Daily Herald article: https://www.heraldextra.com/news/community/2023/jun/17/making-a-difference-crossing-guards-are-unsung-protectors-of-the-community/

Some of the unsung heroes in the city are school crossing guards. They come early in the morning — no matter the weather — don their reflective vests, set out the orange cones and hoist their stop signs.

They wait on street corners opposite the school, watching for children and parents while taking their lives into their own hands as they walk into the street to stop traffic. Interestingly, crossing guards do not work for the school district. In Provo, they actually work for the Provo Police Department.

“When they changed to federal funding for the Safe Passage for Children, overseeing the crossing guards switched to the Provo City Police Department,” said Erica Pimentel, Special Operations Division (SOD) Senior Administrator. “All 47 crossing guards in the City of Provo have basically one role: to protect children. And that’s what they do.”

Crossing guards are unique individuals who come from a variety of backgrounds — most being moms with children at the school, former teachers and senior citizens. A few commonalities, though, help align them with becoming a crossing guard, including their love for children. Another common thread is that they either have or have had a friend who was a crossing guard, or they have worked in education on some level.

Frances Rico, a single mother of twins and a little chihuahua, has been a daycare operator and owner who loves children. She became a crossing guard because a friend was one. “When my friend said I should do it I said ‘no, no, no!’ But then I thought that it would be a good way to get out of the house,” she said.

Another crossing guard, Connie Robison, is a former private school teacher and certified emotional healer. She, too, had a friend who loved being a crossing guard. “It occurred to me after talking to Merna that I would like it, especially because I love children,” Connie said.

Connie’s friend is Merna Talbot, an 83-year-old former kindergarten teacher and teacher’s assistant, and has been a crossing guard for almost a decade. “Being a crossing guard is natural for someone who likes children,” Merna said. “It helps me get up and gives me something to do in the morning. I love watching children grow up.”

Parents love crossing guards. One young mother of a first grader breathed a sigh of relief once she learned there was a crossing guard on the path to school.

“They are so necessary,” she said. “When the crossing guard is here, everything seems to go smoothly, and the cars are more responsive. Sometimes, when she is not here, it is challenging crossing the street because cars do not seem to want to stop. I am glad they have crossing guards.”

Ernestina, the mother to a 7-year-old and a 10-year-old, comes each morning and crosses the street. She stays and talks to Frances until she finishes her work. Over the past two-plus years, she has become an extra set of eyes for Frances and has seen her share of near-tragic situations.

“I have watched cars creep into the crosswalk even when the children are trying to cross,” Ernestina said. “Sometimes, they don’t even wait for the children to cross or the crossing guard to get back to the curb before they speed through. With a crossing guard, I feel that my children are safer when they cross the street.”

While being a crossing guard is an opportunity to project children, a few challenges do occur. When asked about the challenges, the crossing guards had different answers, depending on their situation. Frances said, “The traffic. The drivers. “They just don’t pay attention.”

Connie discussed a different challenge. “It has been the weather for me. This year we had lots of snow,” Connie said. “When the snowplow came, they just rolled up a bunch of ice and snow at the crosswalks. I tried calling the police, but no one responded. I brought a shovel from home and tried to get it off. I got most of it off. I sometimes used my stop sign to scrap off the snow that the snowplow left so it wouldn’t freeze on.”

No matter what, these crossing guards walk into the crosswalks, their reflective vests visible and stop sign held high to ward off the cars. Students then head into the street while the crossing guards hold the cars at bay until the students and their parents make it to the other side. Then, the crossing guard heads back to the corner where they breathe a sigh of relief and wait for another group of children.

Some of the children do not speak English and, instead of not connecting with them, Connie decided she was going to learn Spanish. When she asked a new little boy what grade he was in, he said “No English.”

“I went home and asked Google how to say, ‘what grade are you in,'” Connie said. “I practiced that phrase and used it the next day.” She continues to practice Spanish so she can communicate with Hispanic students.

A unique and close relationship occurs between a crossing guard and a child. Often, the children stop and talk to the crossing guards. When they cross, they say “thank you,” “good morning,” “May God be with you,” or “Have a nice day!”

The week before Mother’s Day, one of the students brought Connie flowers. “It was the sweetest thing, totally unexpected,” Connie said. “I was so appreciative. Other times, the children have given me a gift card to Target or other special cards. It is really wonderful that they appreciate what I do.”

Merna spoke of many stories that have special places in her heart. “The children tell me what is happening in their lives and invite me to their birthday parties, ballgames, and other activities. I sometimes even go to their events,” Merna said. “They see me as a friend. It is just a great neighborhood feeling.”

For Frances, it’s the little things. “The children have given me treats, drawn me pictures, and given me things at Christmas. One day, some of them commented how much they loved my nails. Another child made me a stop sign and a vest. Kids are just nice to work with.”

All crossing guards had four strong invitations to people as they approach a crosswalk around a school area:

 “Slow down, please!

• Get off your phones!
• Pay attention!
• Be aware of the safety of the people and not just concerned about getting to work!” 

Crossing guards want to make a difference by helping children and parents feel safe. Many people do not understand the challenges of being a crossing guard. “You do it because it is part of the day. It’s one of my favorite times of the day,” Frances said. “Even if I am in a bad mood, the children always make me smile. Kids are always happy. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Crossing Guard are truly guardians of the community.

 Anyone wanting more information about becoming a crossing guard can email Erica Pimentel at epimentel@provo.org.

"Resolutions or no resolutions: leading to a new you!"

"Resolutions or no resolutions: leading to a new you."
By Darrel L. Hammon

Published January 1, 2025 in https://www.transformationmag.com/2025/01/resolutions-or-no-resolutions/, pp. 28-31.

Some years ago, in a meeting with other leaders, we discussed making resolutions and whether making resolutions was whether the practice was still in vogue. Interestingly, the discussion had just two sides: yes and no. One leader representing the negative stated “No one makes resolutions anymore.” Another, representing the positive, stated: “We need to help people turn resolutions into reality.” I sided with the positive, and the following are six reasons why I believe we should develop and complete resolutions AND create strategies for turning them into reality.

1. Resolutions are not passé.

A decade ago, CBS conducted a poll that basically stated that “sixty-eight percent of Americans surveyed said they don’t make New Year’s resolutions—up 10 percentage points from two years ago.” Those percentages may have changed over the past ten years. Other research shows that making resolutions is still in vogue. Wharton School researchers Dai, Milkman, and Ri called the idea of making resolutions the “fresh start effect,” concluding that many of the fresh starts began at the beginning of the year or at the beginning of “temporal landmarks” (See https://faculty.wharton.upenn.edu/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Dai_Fresh_Start_2014_Mgmt_Sci.pdf). These landmarks can be birthdays, marriage dates, the first of the year, or any time the person wants a fresh start. Perhaps, instead of naming them resolutions, we should call resolutions “fresh starts.”

2. Resolutions propel us toward self-improvement.

Most of us want to improve our lives, one way or another. What we need to realize is making and completing resolutions help us improve our lives. During the leadership discussion, one leader mentioned that we should “accept the burden of self-improvement.” In a Forbes magazine article, Ashley Feinstein discussed some research Gail Matthews from Dominican University wrote about goal settings. Feinstein stated that “those who wrote down their goals accomplished significantly more than those who did not write down their goals. Making and keep resolution help improve our lives” (See https://www.forbes.com/sites/ellevate/2014/04/08/why-you-should-be-writing-down-your-goals/).

3. Resolutions lead to intentionally planning our lives.

Throughout history, particularly in recent history, people believe they should live spontaneously. One of the leaders in the discussion called this spontaneity “accidental living,” just doing whatever comes up and not caring for what comes after, causing us not to worry about the potential consequences. This spontaneous living creates challenges and maybe even life-threatening actions. Usually somewhere along the way, people stop and confess that they have wasted their lives. Many then work hard in making the appropriate changes through creating goals and resolutions to change and then sticking to them. Making and completing resolutions leads to intentionally living well. We ultimately have the choice to do or not to do.

4. Resolutions help us answer the question “Where do I need to improve?”

Often in workplace annual assessments or evaluations, the question is asked: “Where do you think you need to improve?” Most good leaders know exactly where employees need to improve. They want us to be conscientious in acknowledging our short comings and/or our performance. Consequently, we create goals to improve our performance, develop strategies, and then work hard so our next performance evaluation is a stellar one. Additionally, we also ought to do a personal periodic review to propel us to determine what we need to improve our personal lives.

5. Leaders make resolutions.

Great leaders make goals/resolutions, create objectives that are measurable, develop strategies to achieve the objectives, and then assess how they successfully or unsuccessfully completed their goals and objectives. Some years ago, the Holden Leadership Center at the University of Oregon wrote: “Goals help define your organization, give direction and avoid chaos” (see https://holden.uoregon.edu/leadership) . Thus, leaders do not haphazardly follow a path. They know what they want and seek diligently in accomplishing their tasks..

6. Resolutions do not allow status quo.

In reality, there is no such thing as status quo. Either you are progressing or retrogressing. Most of us—thankfully—have to be doing something that improves our lives. Making and completing resolutions propels us forward for the most part. Granted, some of us do not keep our goals. In the CBS Poll, only “three in 10 Americans say they usually make New Year’s resolutions — but only about half keep them.” The challenge for not completing hinges not making obtainable goals or making too many. In a recent PositivePsychology article titled “The Science & Psychology Of Goal-Setting 101,” we learn that “[g]oal-setting in psychology is an essential tool for self-motivation and self-drivenness – both at personal and professional levels. It gives meaning to our actions and the purpose of achieving something higher” (https://positivepsychology.com/goal-setting-psychology/).

Into Action!
The key to making goals and resolutions hinges on the power of developing strategies. For example, a goal statement of “I will read ten books this year” is just that: a statement. A few questions must be asked, “How are you going to read ten books?” Which ones? When will you read them? We develop a plan of action, i.e., create strategies, which allows us definitive guidance as to HOW we are going to accomplish our goals. All goals need strategies that guide us through our short-term and long-term goals.

Whether you call it setting goals, making New Year’s resolutions, creating lifestyle changes, or developing a fresh start, doing something to improve your life, health, attitude, eating habits, exercise, or spiritual being will eventually lead you to self-improvement. When we gang up on ourselves by making dozens of resolutions or changes in our life at the same time, we will melt into oblivion and pound ourselves for not accomplishing all of the tasks. The key is to take one step at a time so that our goals can really become part of our new reality!

2024 BYU Education Week: My Teaching Story

2024 BYU Education Week: My Teaching Story

2024 BYU Education Week Schedule

I just finished an incredible week teaching four classes at the 2024 BYU Education Week. The overall topic/theme for the four days was “Forming Spiritual Self-Reliance and Lifelong Leadership Skills, from Pre-Mission to Post-Mission and Beyond!” Individual courses included:

• Tuesday—“Preparing to Serve: Becoming Spiritually Self-Reliant”
• Wednesday—“Echoes from the Mission: Learning and Implementing Leadership and Soft Skills”
• Thursday— “Mission Elevated: Applying Ten Straight-Forward Principles of Leadership”
• Friday— “Post-Mission Launching: Counsel for Transitioning from Mission to Home and Beyond”

• 

  Darrel presenting

It all began last year when Joanne and I applied to be “hosting staff” at the 2023 BYU Education Week. We hosted for four days and then attended a variety of courses, which were wonderful and informative.

As I attended these courses, I kept thinking to myself, “I think I can do this.” I talked to Joanne about it, and she said, “I know you can do it.” With Joanne’s support, I knew I had to at least try to become a presenter. I also talked to Trisha, one of our good friends from Lewiston, Idaho, who lives with her family in Washington. She has a son who is nearing the age of going on a mission and wanted additional insight on how to prepare him to go.

The Nelsons (Carol, high school friend), the Hammons,
Trisha (family friend from Lewiston, ID)

I then began thinking about what I might teach. Lots of ideas ran through my head about our missions, particularly serving as mission leaders in the California Riverside Mission and the many incredibly wonderful and spiritual experiences we had. Plus, since arriving home, we have visited with many missionaries about the transition home, including our own. We reminisced about the many firesides we gave both when we served in the Caribbean and to the stakes and wards as mission leaders.

In August 2023, I began fleshing out the outline for four difference courses, completed a 20-minute video of me teaching one of the four courses. At the end of September 2023, I submitted my application, résumé, and a link to my teaching video to the 2024 BYU Education Week Selection Committee. Then, the waiting began!

At the end of January 2024, I received an email invitation to teach at the BYU Education Week program, August 19-23. I was very excited about the invitation and knew I needed to get busy to develop the four courses.

Joanne, Darrel, and Bruce Hayes, a friend from Cheyenne, WY, now in Santaquin, UT.

Over the next several months, I began to develop the outline for the four classes that I ultimately taught during the 2024 BYU Education Week. It took me a bit to create the courses. I made numerous changes to all four courses, making sure that they really were filled with those things the Lord needed me to teach the people who might be attending my classes.

Finally, the time came to teach. Joanne attended with me and was an incredible support and cheerleader throughout the entire process.

Carol Nelson (friend from junior high and high school), Darrel, and Joanne

The four days that I taught were exhilarating, humbling, delightful, a bit stressful, and enlightening. I met lots of wonderful people who thanked me, visited with mothers and fathers about their missionaries, and other mothers who had pre-missionaries and wanted to know what they needed to still do to help their children. 

Participants attending one of the classes

Several pre-missionaries attend the entire series, and several recently returned missionaries attended the last session that was specifically created for them from a white paper I had shared with our own missionaries.

Ximena, hosting staff who is planning on a mission

Overall, the experience was just wonderful! It was an honor and privilege to teach at the 2024 BYU Education Week, and I am already thinking about topics I could teach for the 2025 BYU Education Week. Any insights would be helpful.

Stay tuned.

“Personal choices define us: Ten principles to help you make better choices in life.

“Personal choices define us: Ten principles to help you make better choices in life."

 
Also read in Transformation Coaching Magazine, August 2024, pp. 40-42. 

https://www.transformationmag.com/tcm-august-2024/

Over the past several months, I have talked to a variety of people who have made personal choices that have resulted in precarious financial, mental, and potentially dangerous physical situations. As my mother-in-law used to say, “It frosts me” to watch them make personal decisions and then not deal well with the self-induced consequences.

Many blame others for the consequences of their personal choices. One person recently said to me, “They (her family, friends, boyfriend, etc.) are the reason why this happened to me. They ruined my life.” When we analyzed the situation, however, it became rather obvious that her personal choices were responsible for this very challenging situation—but she refused to accept her role and continued to blame everyone else for the outcome. End of story.

Personal choices have consequences—some good and some not so good. Often, we know what the consequences will be way before we even make a decision. We know that if we spend our entire paycheck on frivolous things before we pay all of the bills that we have—car, rent, lights, heat, food etc.—then the landlord will be asking for the money and even perhaps kicking us out if we are far behind in our payments. There will be no food in the house. Our car may even be repossessed. Sad? Yes. Heartbreaking? Yes. Avoidable? Definitely yes!

I have discovered that the following 10 principles will help you make better choices.

1. Choose to act and not be acted upon.

Often some of us say that “it’s not my fault!” Yet, it is. Instead of accepting our own actions, we choose to be acted upon, allowing others to make our choices. Then, we blame others for our actions. True power comes from taking actions and then accepting responsibility and being accountable for these actions. We lose power when we make the choice to allow others to act on our behalf.

2. Use both sides of your brain.

We have both a right side and a left side of our brain. One side looks at everything rationally. The other side is a bit more spur of the moment, let’s do it now. You can look at our brain as having both pragmatic and emotional sides. They are meant to work together, although, for most of us, one side of the brain dominates. The key is to align ourselves with the best option, by consciously working to use both sides of the brain in concert.

3. Research the options.

Consider all angles, weigh the pros and cons, and determine the best course of action for you. We should try to see all sides, based on your research.

4. Consider the consequences.

There are consequences for each personal decision we make, and we need to weigh each variable. For example, when considering an investment, look at both the short-term and long-term scenarios. If buying a product, determine its financial impact vs. the value it offers.

5. Consider different points of view.

Evaluating from different points of view provides clarity. Consult others and review all the angles with a good mentor or coach. Ask the hard/challenging questions before making the decision.

6. Look for the long reach.

Some decisions are short-term and easy to make, like which ice cream flavor to select. Other decisions have a long-range impact such as buying a car, making an investment or purchasing car insurance. Spend an appropriate amount of more time on each decision based on how long its reach will be in the future. Also consider the potential long-term impact.

7. Make the decision.

Yes, you have to make the decision eventually. If you have thought about it, done the appropriate research, understand and accept the oncoming consequences, you are ready to make a choice. Take a deep breath and commit.

8. Conduct an assessment of your decision.

It can be a formal or informal assessment. Ask questions like: Was that the best or most effective decision I could have made? What were the positives about the decision? What about the negatives? What did I learn from the decision? What would I have done differently if I could make the decision over? What will I do now? How can I enhance my future decisions? Often an assessment reveals that a mistake was made. Instead of beating yourself up, consider how you are going to turn that mistake into a positive choice next time. Sometimes, we may just have to move on.

9. Move forward.

Ultimately, we need to move on to the next decision, utilizing and incorporating all of our experiences to make a better, more effective decision going forward. Dwelling on past decisions will only cause you to focus too much on the past, impeding our future choices.

10. Develop a process.

Decision-making does not have to be a long, drawn-out process every time, but each decision requires a thought process. Choose well! Become the doer and the chooser!

Our personal choices define us, and how we react to the consequences of our decisions can either propel us forward to become better people who are comfortable with personal growth or mire us in a never-ending morass that holds us back.

"Education Tips: Getting Your Child Ready for College During Their Senior Year”

 "Education Tips: Getting Your Child Ready for College During Their Senior Year”

As we speak, high schools across the United States have already begun their year. Now, the juniors are poised to take their place as the mighty seniors. While being a senior is a cool thing, the question emerges as to whether they are ready to take their rightful place in the college of their choice in one year’s time, or even longer.

For parents, they begin to panic early. For some reason around this time of year, many parents look at their child across the table and think: “Oh my, they are going to be a senior this coming year. We aren’t ready for this!”

Parents, don't panic! Here are some education tips you may want to discuss with your soon-to-be seniors before you totally panic. Plus, you parents who have students transitioning from 8th grade to 9th and those who are sophomores and juniors ought to listen up because it would be wise for you to begin thinking about these things now and begin working on them right away.

Scholarships/Financial Aid—Most, if not all, parents worry about financial aid because the cost of a college education increases every single year. Every college and university has financial aid available to their students. The key to success is starting out early to make sure you understand what this all entails. Begin by checking with your child’s high school counselor. Almost weekly, they receive scholarship updates from a plethora of sources, including colleges and universities. You may even want your child to check with the counselor on a weekly basis. Additionally, contact the various colleges your child is interested in. All colleges now have websites that focus on scholarships. Be acutely aware of the financial deadlines and meet them. There is nothing more depressing than missing a deadline for a scholarship that had your child’s name written all over it. Also, check around your community for scholarships your child might be eligible for. You might be surprised what your local credit union, bank, farmer’s organization, community foundations and clubs, employer, etc. have available for their local students. Check out websites like fastweb.com and sign up. Be proactive. If your child wants to go to college, then having the money to go is imperative. In my opinion, student loans are always the very last option!

Classes—Visit with the high school counselor to make sure your child has earned the appropriate credits for the classes he or she may have taken. Every state and almost every school have varying graduation requirements. If you have moved from one state to the next, checking with your local school is imperative. Additionally, if your child is taking dual-credit or dual-enrollment courses that earn him or her college credit, be sure they finish these courses and are transcripted. You will be amazed how much money you will save if your child does not have to take them in college. Encourage your child to do the best he or she can during the senior year--any year, for that matter--because it really does count in the long run.

ACT/SAT—By the beginning of a senior year, most high school juniors have already taken the ACT or SAT. If not, you will need to schedule one as soon as you can. Most high schools can do the scheduling for you. If a student feels he or she has not done the best, he or she can take it over again. Be sure, though, to review the scores of the last ACT/SAT test and study those areas in order to enhance the score. But if you miss the deadlines, many colleges have alternative assessments that your child can take to determine whether he or she is eligible to attend. Check with your college to determine what that assessment might be.

Four-year, two-year, or technical college—For some, choosing between a four-and a two-year college may not be an issue. For parents on a budget, the choice may be more acute. Four-year colleges and universities tend to cost more in the short and in the long run. Two-year colleges or community colleges are historically less expensive. Technical colleges have programs that are shorter and more specific to a trade or job and are often less expensive. Your financial aid package may determine which school to go to. Some parents may believe that community colleges are inferior to a four-year college. The good news is community college students do as well as or even better than their four-year counterparts at the four-year institution once they graduate. Do not rule out community colleges and technical colleges. But do make sure that you check out the financial aid packages and the transferability of the credits and certifications of all institutions. Bottom line, though, hinges on choosing the best college for your son or daughter.

Community service—This is a big one. Many scholarships—maybe even most of them—require students to participate in community service throughout their high school careers. Thankfully, community service is easy to achieve because there are numerous community and church organizations that need help from young people. The best thing to do is start in the 8th or 9th grade and develop a community service model for your child. Showing a long-term commitment to one or two organizations is a good thing. Obtaining two or three hours here and there demonstrates that the child is not too committed to doing consistent community services. Plus, when young people perform community services, they usually impress their supervisors of the directors of the project. In the long run, they will be able to solicit a letter of recommendation from these people when applying for scholarships or college admissions to the college of their choice. Maybe even more important, some of these volunteer opportunities may translate into future jobs, either during the summer months or even when the student graduates from college. The most important thing is that students choose community service opportunities for which they have interest.

Grades—The fact of the matter is this: grades are important, no matter what anyone says. If students do not do well in their classes, they may end up having to enroll in remedial course in college. These remedial courses still cost money; they do not apply toward graduation; and they may impede graduating on time. Students must always attempt to do well in their coursework. If they are struggling, parents, be sure to obtain a tutor or meet with the teacher to make sure your student is doing everything possible to earn good grades.

Internships—Even in high school, students can opt for internships, either paid or unpaid. In fact, more and more high schools are helping their students capture prime internships. Internships help students experience a potential career, develop real-life skills, learn how to work with others, demonstrate to the organization what skills they do have, and create future connections. Overall, internships in high school and college can only help students gain greater insight into themselves and what they might be good at doing.

College visits—It is always a good idea to know something about the college or university you are going to attend. Often, though, a college visit may not be feasible because of the distance from your home. Colleges know that. Thus, they have developed incredible virtual tours and information videos for students. Take advantage of them. Additionally, colleges and universities can schedule live chat sessions with counselors, students, and administrators. They will accommodate your schedules. Ultimately, students need to determine if they are going to be a good fit.

Overall, parents, it is not too late to begin the process. Try not to feel stressed or anxious. There are way too many avenues to obtain the information you need. You may want to start with your child’s high school counselor or a counselor or admissions representative at the local college or university. Do not be afraid to ask lots and lots of questions. If you do, you and your child will be prepared for the senior year and beyond.

If you need additional help, please contact me at darrel.hammon@gmail.com. I am available to help!