Also read in Transformation Coaching Magazine, August 2024, pp. 40-42.
https://www.transformationmag.com/tcm-august-2024/
Over the past several months, I have talked to a variety of people who have made personal choices that have resulted in precarious financial, mental, and potentially dangerous physical situations. As my mother-in-law used to say, “It frosts me” to watch them make personal decisions and then not deal well with the self-induced consequences.
Many blame others for the consequences of their personal choices. One person recently said to me, “They (her family, friends, boyfriend, etc.) are the reason why this happened to me. They ruined my life.” When we analyzed the situation, however, it became rather obvious that her personal choices were responsible for this very challenging situation—but she refused to accept her role and continued to blame everyone else for the outcome. End of story.
Personal choices have consequences—some good and some not so good. Often, we know what the consequences will be way before we even make a decision. We know that if we spend our entire paycheck on frivolous things before we pay all of the bills that we have—car, rent, lights, heat, food etc.—then the landlord will be asking for the money and even perhaps kicking us out if we are far behind in our payments. There will be no food in the house. Our car may even be repossessed. Sad? Yes. Heartbreaking? Yes. Avoidable? Definitely yes!
I have discovered that the following 10 principles will help you make better choices.
1. Choose to act and not be acted upon.
Often some of us say that “it’s not my fault!” Yet, it is. Instead of accepting our own actions, we choose to be acted upon, allowing others to make our choices. Then, we blame others for our actions. True power comes from taking actions and then accepting responsibility and being accountable for these actions. We lose power when we make the choice to allow others to act on our behalf.
2. Use both sides of your brain.
We have both a right side and a left side of our brain. One side looks at everything rationally. The other side is a bit more spur of the moment, let’s do it now. You can look at our brain as having both pragmatic and emotional sides. They are meant to work together, although, for most of us, one side of the brain dominates. The key is to align ourselves with the best option, by consciously working to use both sides of the brain in concert.
3. Research the options.
Consider all angles, weigh the pros and cons, and determine the best course of action for you. We should try to see all sides, based on your research.
4. Consider the consequences.
There are consequences for each personal decision we make, and we need to weigh each variable. For example, when considering an investment, look at both the short-term and long-term scenarios. If buying a product, determine its financial impact vs. the value it offers.
5. Consider different points of view.
Over the past several months, I have talked to a variety of people who have made personal choices that have resulted in precarious financial, mental, and potentially dangerous physical situations. As my mother-in-law used to say, “It frosts me” to watch them make personal decisions and then not deal well with the self-induced consequences.
Many blame others for the consequences of their personal choices. One person recently said to me, “They (her family, friends, boyfriend, etc.) are the reason why this happened to me. They ruined my life.” When we analyzed the situation, however, it became rather obvious that her personal choices were responsible for this very challenging situation—but she refused to accept her role and continued to blame everyone else for the outcome. End of story.
Personal choices have consequences—some good and some not so good. Often, we know what the consequences will be way before we even make a decision. We know that if we spend our entire paycheck on frivolous things before we pay all of the bills that we have—car, rent, lights, heat, food etc.—then the landlord will be asking for the money and even perhaps kicking us out if we are far behind in our payments. There will be no food in the house. Our car may even be repossessed. Sad? Yes. Heartbreaking? Yes. Avoidable? Definitely yes!
I have discovered that the following 10 principles will help you make better choices.
1. Choose to act and not be acted upon.
Often some of us say that “it’s not my fault!” Yet, it is. Instead of accepting our own actions, we choose to be acted upon, allowing others to make our choices. Then, we blame others for our actions. True power comes from taking actions and then accepting responsibility and being accountable for these actions. We lose power when we make the choice to allow others to act on our behalf.
2. Use both sides of your brain.
We have both a right side and a left side of our brain. One side looks at everything rationally. The other side is a bit more spur of the moment, let’s do it now. You can look at our brain as having both pragmatic and emotional sides. They are meant to work together, although, for most of us, one side of the brain dominates. The key is to align ourselves with the best option, by consciously working to use both sides of the brain in concert.
3. Research the options.
Consider all angles, weigh the pros and cons, and determine the best course of action for you. We should try to see all sides, based on your research.
4. Consider the consequences.
There are consequences for each personal decision we make, and we need to weigh each variable. For example, when considering an investment, look at both the short-term and long-term scenarios. If buying a product, determine its financial impact vs. the value it offers.
5. Consider different points of view.
Evaluating from different points of view provides clarity. Consult others and review all the angles with a good mentor or coach. Ask the hard/challenging questions before making the decision.
6. Look for the long reach.
Some decisions are short-term and easy to make, like which ice cream flavor to select. Other decisions have a long-range impact such as buying a car, making an investment or purchasing car insurance. Spend an appropriate amount of more time on each decision based on how long its reach will be in the future. Also consider the potential long-term impact.
7. Make the decision.
Yes, you have to make the decision eventually. If you have thought about it, done the appropriate research, understand and accept the oncoming consequences, you are ready to make a choice. Take a deep breath and commit.
8. Conduct an assessment of your decision.
It can be a formal or informal assessment. Ask questions like: Was that the best or most effective decision I could have made? What were the positives about the decision? What about the negatives? What did I learn from the decision? What would I have done differently if I could make the decision over? What will I do now? How can I enhance my future decisions? Often an assessment reveals that a mistake was made. Instead of beating yourself up, consider how you are going to turn that mistake into a positive choice next time. Sometimes, we may just have to move on.
9. Move forward.
Ultimately, we need to move on to the next decision, utilizing and incorporating all of our experiences to make a better, more effective decision going forward. Dwelling on past decisions will only cause you to focus too much on the past, impeding our future choices.
10. Develop a process.
Decision-making does not have to be a long, drawn-out process every time, but each decision requires a thought process. Choose well! Become the doer and the chooser!
Our personal choices define us, and how we react to the consequences of our decisions can either propel us forward to become better people who are comfortable with personal growth or mire us in a never-ending morass that holds us back.
6. Look for the long reach.
Some decisions are short-term and easy to make, like which ice cream flavor to select. Other decisions have a long-range impact such as buying a car, making an investment or purchasing car insurance. Spend an appropriate amount of more time on each decision based on how long its reach will be in the future. Also consider the potential long-term impact.
7. Make the decision.
Yes, you have to make the decision eventually. If you have thought about it, done the appropriate research, understand and accept the oncoming consequences, you are ready to make a choice. Take a deep breath and commit.
8. Conduct an assessment of your decision.
It can be a formal or informal assessment. Ask questions like: Was that the best or most effective decision I could have made? What were the positives about the decision? What about the negatives? What did I learn from the decision? What would I have done differently if I could make the decision over? What will I do now? How can I enhance my future decisions? Often an assessment reveals that a mistake was made. Instead of beating yourself up, consider how you are going to turn that mistake into a positive choice next time. Sometimes, we may just have to move on.
9. Move forward.
Ultimately, we need to move on to the next decision, utilizing and incorporating all of our experiences to make a better, more effective decision going forward. Dwelling on past decisions will only cause you to focus too much on the past, impeding our future choices.
10. Develop a process.
Decision-making does not have to be a long, drawn-out process every time, but each decision requires a thought process. Choose well! Become the doer and the chooser!
Our personal choices define us, and how we react to the consequences of our decisions can either propel us forward to become better people who are comfortable with personal growth or mire us in a never-ending morass that holds us back.
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