Monday, April 4, 2022

“Liderazgo, Hoy y Para Siempre”: Visita Humanitaria/Educativa a la República Dominicana

Visita Humanitaria/Educativa a la República Dominicana
“Liderazgo, Hoy y Para Siempre”

Joanne y yo acabamos de regresar de Puerto Plata, República Dominicana, donde pudimos participar en una visita educativa/humanitaria fenomenal en apoyo de la Fundación Dominicana Starfish (Estrella de Mar).

Algunas de los participantes

Louise ZoBell es la Directora Ejecutiva de la Fundación Dominicana Starfish, con sede en Sterling, Canadá, con dos grupos hermanos: “PAL Humanitarian dba Dominican Starfish Foundation” en los Estados Unidos (Utah), y la “Fundación Amor, Estrella de Mar, es Amor” en la República Dominicana.

Jack y Louise ZoBell de Alberta, Canadá

En los últimos años, la Fundación Estrella de Mar Dominicana ha construido o renovado más de 160 viviendas en el área de Puerto Plata. También han construido una escuela y han ayudado a numerosas familias proporcionándoles ropa, zapatos, comida, juegos infantiles y muchos otros artículos.

Antes y después

Recientemente, construyeron un centro educativo en la comunidad de Javillar para comenzar a ofrecer un cuadro de servicios educativos y proporcionar lugares para dentistas, médicos y quiroprácticos para brindar servicios médicos y dentales a los más necesitados.

El Centro Educativo en Javillar (Puerto Plata)

A fines de 2021, me reuní con sus juntas directivas y les ayudé a desarrollar un plan estratégico para desarrollar capacidades y mejorar lo que estaba haciendo la Fundación.

Después de varias conversaciones, Louise y yo decidimos que sería maravilloso iniciar ofertas educativas brindando un taller de liderazgo para líderes emergentes y futuros en Javillar y Puerto Plata.

Algunos de los participantes

Me comuniqué con la directora dominicana de la Fundación, Amarilis Ureña, y otras personas acerca de la capacitación. Estaban entusiasmados con el potencial de tener seminarios de liderazgo. Muchas personas fueron fundamentales en la planificación y el desarrollo de la capacitación. Muchas gracias a Amarilis y su increíble equipo y Louise, Lorenzo Castillo, Eddy Morrobel, e Immanuel Rosario.

Amarilis y Louise

Para nuestra primera clase en el Centro Educativo de la Fundación el 22 de marzo de 2022, más de 40 participantes participaron en “Liderazgo, Hoy y Para Siempre”. Discutimos el liderazgo en los niveles fundamentales, lo que es o debería ser un líder, el papel de un líder, estilos y características de liderazgo, valores y principios de liderazgo.


El segundo día de la clase, desarrollamos un plan de acción sobre lo que iban a hacer para implementar algunos de los principios que habíamos discutido en la clase. Me impresionó lo emocionados que estaban por completar esta tarea. Trabajaron diligentemente solos y en grupos para desarrollar su “Plan de Acción”. 


Una empresa en particular había enviado a cinco de sus empleados a participar y aprender. Se fueron con un plan personal y un plan para ayudar a la empresa. 

Los jovenes de la empresa/asociación

Al final de la capacitación de liderazgo, la Fundación Estrella de Mar Dominicana y yo habíamos preparado un certificado para entregar a cada participante que completó el evento de dos días. Se inspiró en una ceremonia de graduación, en la que cada persona se presentó, recibió su certificado y se tomó una fotografía.

Disfruté mucho estar allí con ellos y enseñarles los fundamentos y principios del liderazgo, todo en español, ¡lo cual fue un placer! Probablemente lo más divertido fue sacarse fotos con todos los participantes. Muchos de ellos querían fotos grupales con varios estudiantes y conmigo. ¿Cómo puedes decirle que no a eso?

Uno de los participantes

Algunas de los participantes

Además, hice una versión nocturna recortada del seminario de liderazgo de dos días con un grupo de 90 personas: miembros de nuestra iglesia, miembros de la comunidad, y líderes de la ciudad. Fueron tres horas increíbles de conversación, preguntas, aprendizaje, intercambio y elaboración de sus propios planes de acción.


Nuevamente, tuvimos una ceremonia de graduación y entregamos un certificado a cada persona que había participado. Muchos de ellos se acercaron y me agradecieron por la capacitación que habían recibido.




Joanne y yo disfrutamos mucho de nuestro tiempo allí con nuestros amigos dominicanos, nuevos y viejos. Hay algo acerca de compartir principios y valores de liderazgo con otros y verlos agarrarlos e inculcarlos en sus vidas. Tendremos conversaciones de seguimiento de Zoom con los participantes, a pedido de ellos.

Nuestra caminata en la mañana!

Si alguno de los que leen esto desea participar en una experiencia educativa/humanitaria en la República Dominicana con la Fundación Dominicana Starfish, comuníquese con Louise ZoBell en dominicanstarfish@gmail.com o conmigo en darrel.hammon@gmail.com. Su experiencia será bien recibida por estos líderes emergentes y muchos otros. Si se pregunta qué se necesita, comuníquese conmigo para analizar las posibles necesidades educativas.


Para obtener más información sobre la Fundación Estrella de Mar Dominicana, visite su sitio web: www.dominicanstarfish.org.

Thursday, March 31, 2022

Humanitarian/Education Visit to the Dominican Republic: “Liderazgo, Hoy y Para Siempre”

Humanitarian/Education Visit to the Dominican Republic
“Liderazgo, Hoy y Para Siempre”

Joanne and I just returned from Puerto Plata, Dominican Republic, where we were able to participate in a phenomenal humanitarian/education visit in support of the Dominican Starfish Foundation. 

Louise ZoBell is the Executive Director of the Dominican Starfish Foundation, based in Sterling, Canada, with two sister groups: “PAL Humanitarian dba Dominican Starfish Foundation” in the United States (Utah), and the “Fundación Amor, Estrella de Mar, es Amor” in the Dominican Republic. 

Darrel, Joanne, and Louise ZoBell

Over the past several years, the Dominican Starfish Foundation has built or renovated over 160 homes in the Puerto Plata area. They have also renovated a school and helped numerous families by providing clothes, shoes, food, playground equipment, and so many other items.

Recently, they built an education center in the community of Javillar to begin offering a cadre of educational services and providing places for dentists, doctors, and chiropractors to provide medical and dental services to those most in need.

Education Center in Javillar

At the end of 2021, I met with their board of directors and help develop a strategic plan for them to build capacity and enhance what the Foundation was doing.

After several conversations, Louise and I decided it would be wonderful to initiate educational offerings by providing a leadership workshop to emerging and future leaders in Javillar and Puerto Plata.

I contacted the Foundation’s Dominican director, Amarilis Ureña, and others about the training. They were ecstatic about the potential of having leadership seminars. So many people were instrumental in planning and developing the training. Many thanks to Amarilis and her amazing equipo (team), Louise, Lorenzo Castillo, Eddy Morrobel, and Immanuel Rosario. 

Graduation time

For our first class at the Foundation’s Education Center on March 22, 2022, over 40 participants participated in “Liderazgo, Hoy y Para Siempre” (“Leadership: Today and Forever”). We discussed leadership on the fundamental levels, what a leader is or should be, the role of a leader, leadership styles and characteristics, values, and principles of leadership.

On the second day of the class, we developed a plan of action as to what they were going to do to implement the principles we had discussed in the class. I was impressed by how excited they were to complete this task. They worked diligently by themselves and in groups to develop their “Plan de Acción.” (“Plan of Action”). 

Class members engaged in group discussion

One particular company had sent five of its employees to participate and learn. They went away with both a personal plan and a plan to help the company.

These five young men came from their
association to learn about leadership

At the end of the leadership training, the Dominican Starfish Foundation and I had prepared a certificate to give each participant who completed the two-day event. It was patterned after a graduation ceremony, with each person coming forward, receiving their certificate, and having their picture taken.

I thoroughly enjoyed being there with them and teaching them the fundamentals and principles of leadership—all in Spanish, which was a joy! Probably the most fun was taking pictures with all of the participants. So many of them wanted group pictures with various students and me. How can you say no to that?
Certificates for everyone who participated in the two-day seminar



Also, I did an evening truncated version of the two-day leadership seminar with a group of 90 people—members of our church, community members, and city leaders. It was an incredible three hours of conversation, questions, learning, sharing, and preparing their own plans of action.

The group at the stake center

Again, we had a graduation ceremony and gave a certificate to each person who had participated. So many of them came forward and thanked me for the training they had received.

Darrel, a city leader and her husband, and Lorenzo Castillo

Joanne and I thoroughly enjoyed our time there with our Dominican friends, new and old. There is something about sharing leadership principles and values with others and seeing them grab hold of them and instilling them into their lives. We will be having Zoom follow-up conversations with the participants—at their request.

If any of you reading this would like to participate in a humanitarian/education experience in the Dominican Republic with the Dominican Starfish Foundation, please contact Louise ZoBell at dominicanstarfish@gmail.com or me at darrel.hammon@gmail.com. Your expertise will be well received by these emerging leaders and so many others. If you are wondering what is needed, please contact me to discuss potential educational needs.

For more information about the Dominican Starfish Foundation, please go to their website: www.dominicanstarfish.org.


Saturday, January 8, 2022

Still in Vogue: Setting Goals and Making Resolutions

 Still in vogue: setting goals and making resolutions!

Goals and resolutions are not passé.

Some years ago, CBS (2013) conducted a poll. The poll basically stated that “sixty-eight percent of Americans surveyed said they don’t make New Year’s resolutions — up 10 percentage points from two years ago.” Other research shows that making resolutions are still in vogue. In fact, resolutions can offer you a fresh start. In a December 2014 research article from the Wharton School, researchers Dai, Milkman, and Ri called the idea of making resolutions the “fresh start effect,” concluding that many of the fresh starts began at the beginning of the year or at the beginning of “temporal landmarks.” These landmarks can be birthdays, marriage dates, the first of the year, or any time the person wants a fresh start. Perhaps, instead of naming them resolutions, we should call resolutions “fresh starts.”

Resolutions propel us toward self-improvement.
Most of us want to improve our lives, one way or the other. What we need to realize the making and completion of resolutions help us improve our lives. During a leadership discussion, one leader mentioned that we should “accept the burden of self-improvement. In a Forbes magazine articleAshley Feinstein discussed some research Gail Matthews from Dominican University wrote about goal settings. Feinstein stated that “those who wrote down their goals accomplished significantly more than those who did not write down their goals.” Making and keeping resolutions help improve our lives.

Goals and resolutions lead to intentionally planning our lives.
Throughout history, particularly in recent history, people believe they should live spontaneously. One of the leaders in the discussion called this spontaneity “accidental living,” just doing whatever comes up and not caring for what comes after, causing us not to worry about the potential consequences. This spontaneous living creates challenges and maybe even life-threatening actions. Usually, somewhere along the way, people stop and confess that they have wasted their lives. Many work hard in making the appropriate changes through making goals and resolutions to change and then sticking to them. Making and completing resolutions lead to intentionally living well. We ultimately have the choice to do or not to do.

Resolutions help us answer the question “Where do I need to improve?”
Sometimes our boss asks us in our annual assessment or evaluation: “Where do you think you need to improve?” Our boss knows exactly where we need to improve because most good leaders do not ask questions they do not already know the answers to. They want us to be conscientious in acknowledging our short comings and/or our performance. Consequently, we create goals to improve our performance and then work hard so our next performance evaluation is a stellar one. Additionally, we also ought to do a personal periodic review to propel us to determine what we need to improve our personal lives.

Resolutions are what leaders do.
Great leaders make goals/resolutions, create objectives that are measurable, develop strategies to achieve the objectives, and then assess how they successfully or unsuccessfully completed their goals and objectives. Some years ago, the Holden Leadership Center at the University of Oregon wrote: “Goals help define your organization, give direction and avoid chaos.” Thus, leaders do not haphazardly follow a path. They know what they want and seek diligently in accomplishing their tasks.

Resolutions do not allow the status quo.
In reality, there is no such thing as the status quo. Either you are progressing or retrogressing. Most of us—thankfully—have to be doing something. Making and completing resolutions propel us forward for the most part. Granted, some of us do not keep our goals. In the CBS Poll, only “three in 10 Americans say they usually make New Year’s resolutions — but only about half keep them.” The challenge for not completing hinges not making obtainable goals or making too many. According to psychologist Dr. Lynn Bufka, “Setting small, attainable goals throughout the year, instead of a singular, overwhelming goal on January 1 can help you reach whatever it is you strive for. Remember, it is not the extent of the change that matters, but rather the act of recognizing that lifestyle change is important and working toward it, one step at a time.”

Whether you call it setting goals, making New Year’s resolutions, creating lifestyle changes, or developing a fresh start, doing something to improve your life, health, attitude, eating habits, exercise, or spiritual being will eventually lead you to self-improvement. When we gang up on ourselves by making dozens of resolutions or changes in our life at the same time, we will melt into oblivion and pound ourselves for not accomplishing all of the tasks. The key is to do like Dr. Bufka counsels: You must take "one step at a time."

Wednesday, January 5, 2022

Fifteen ways to have a more positive 2022!

Fifteen ways to have a more positive 2022
Darrel L. Hammon with help from lots of friends in the world


Our 2021 was filled with both challenges and positives. None of us can deny the craziness of 2021 and the many challenges that so many have suffered. Yes, it has been a tough year for all of us in some minute or grand way. Consequently, I asked myself: How can I help make 2022 more positive than 2021? Answer: I asked my Facebook and Instagram friends to send me their thoughts and suggestions about how they are going to make 2022 a more positive year.

I collected their comments, thoughts, and suggestions and organized them thematically into fifteen categories to read, contemplate, reflect, incorporate into your own lives, and share with others. They are not in any hierarchical list. It is a list that can be shuffled in any way you desire.

Show more respect, love, and compassion
Last year was one of the most challenging years I have seen. Many, many people experienced challenging things. One of the major challenges was that people rose up and were vicious and disrespectful to each other, their families, and people they didn’t even know. When that type of hatred roams the streets and social media, no wonder people are feeling a bit skittish. Ken Aird (Utah) wrote just three words: “Respect, Love, Compassion” to describe what he is going to do. Amy Dyer (Utah) wrote, “Something that I want to do this year is be more prayerful and thoughtful about how I’m treating those around me!”

Sonja Diaz (Chile) wishes to show “love and understanding for every person and have compassion for even the most defenseless so they do not suffer.” She also wants peace and love.

For any of us, showing respect, compassion, peace, and love for those in our own lives will help us become more positive and kinder. I think if we were more thoughtful and compassionate about those around us, we would feel better about who we are.

Use writing to help
Lots of people suggested that they were going to use writing as a way to become more positive and see things in a positive light. Writing can be so therapeutic. Cynthia Egbert (Colorado) said, “I have a plan to spend at least the first two weeks of January journaling about what I have learned over the past two years. This may end up taking all the month of January but I feel the need to clearly see the gains I and my family have made in the most trying of circumstances. I believe this will strengthen us to face what is still coming.”

Another journal writer, Marian C Hobson (South Carolina), wants to “regularly use my spiritual thoughts journal to remind me of the way God is working in my life and teaching me.”

Stephen Lowry (Idaho) told me via a telephone call that he is going to “post something positive in my journal every day like acts by someone else that made my day brighter. I want to watch for good things that people do, not necessarily the bad things that I normally do.”

Lohany Smith (Texas) wrote that “I want to enjoy more the present moment instead of thinking about what’s next. And journaling more about the things I learn throughout the year.”

Being able to focus on the good things and not the bad will definitely help us climb out of any negative abyss.


Elevate your life by small moments and steps
The state of Utah has a tagline “Life Elevated.” What a great tagline. In our mission, we converted that tagline into “Mission Elevated.” Perhaps, each of us can determine how we can elevate our lives through a variety of means.

For example, Anne Marie Winters Harmon (Utah) offered up what she is going to do to elevate her life: “I have a goal to make time for the Lord every day. I have taken this challenge from President Russell M. Nelson and want to continue this. Ways that I plan to do this is to set aside time to meditate and know God is there. I also plan to elevate my scripture study for the preparation of weekly temple attendance. I look back and remember to elevate my life even by small moments and steps. I also have other goals of keeping my mind strong as well as my physical body. I strive every day to take time to exercise and push myself to a physical limit. Sometimes those limits we think we have, only exist in our minds. Overall I want to feel God's love and spirit continually.”

Elevating our lives, even by small or incremental steps, will allow us to see the bigger picture.

Center yourself on Christ
For many people who commented on how they are going to make 2022 a more positive year, they want to turn to or center on Christ. Tyson Crowther now going to college in Idaho stated, “I don’t have to be perfect. I just have to center myself on Christ and make him a bigger part of my family’s life.”

When you center yourself on a higher power, we learn as Kristen Vance Larsen (Utah) has recognized over the years that “learning requires experiences and challenges. This has scared me in the past and undoubtedly will continue to be overwhelming at times. Hopefully, the Lord will be compassionate, and I will be teachable; otherwise, the challenges will need to be greater or repeated in order for me to truly learn. I trust that these things will all be for my good.”

Marlene Shirley (Utah) understands where true joy comes from: “When there are hard days I am going to try harder to remember that true joy comes from living the Gospel and being a disciple of Jesus Christ. No one can take away my relationship with the Savior.”

Christian Nkwocha, a young man from Nigeria who lost both his father and mother within a few months of each other in 2021 from illness and COVID offered this counsel: “I encourage my beloved brothers and sisters as we are about to enter 2022 we need to increase our faith and regular studying in our scriptures use the same opportunity to invite friends and families to come unto Christ.” Even though he and his two sisters have gone through much tribulation, he said, “ Let not our hearts be troubled. Let's increase our faith and invite the Lord to be the finisher of our faith.”

Whatever your religious beliefs are, centering on Christ or a higher power may strengthen your faith and hope in positive things.


Think of tender mercies and blessings and look for the good in our lives
Often the big things in our lives do not appear readily, if at all, but the little things do. Tana Thorley Whicker (Montana) wrote: “I mentally review my day and look for “tender mercies” (the little blessings in life). Without fail, they’re there, but I often miss them if I don’t consciously look for them in my day.” Perhaps, Diane Hall (Utah) has a purpose in 2022 that we should all adopt: “I’m going to purposely look for the good.”

Sandy Mellows Pallesen Davis (Nevada) just went through a challenging yet positive 2021, including the death of her father. Sandy wholeheartedly believes that 2022 will be positive “if we focus on family and what we do have. In 2022, we will strive to enjoy every day and be thankful for God’s blessings. We will be exploring the USA in our RV and just enjoying life.”

Looking for the tender mercies or the good in our lives will help us chase away the negativity in our lives.

Be more positive in thoughts and actions
Coupled with compassion is being more positive in thoughts and actions. Myrna Newman Williams (Idaho) wrote about what she is going to do to be more positive: “I am challenging myself, every day to make it through that day without saying one negative thing about me or anyone else or life.

Josh Baker (West Virginia) is including his family in his suggestion: “Our family will be doing a gratitude and positivity journal. Friends that visit will also contribute to the book.” How exciting is this?

Personally, I think talking about and demonstrating positivity helps dissipate some of the negativity. One of the things I would like to do this year is to create a podcast that highlights positive people, positive adventures, positive philosophy, etc. Of course, I know I will need help and hope to reach out to those who can help me.


Remember who you are and what you represent
I truly believe that if people would remember who they are and try to represent themselves in positive and healthy ways, their lives would change for the better. Erika Y Martinez’s (Texas) suggestion is a phenomenal one: “I genuinely forget, at times, who I truly am. I get disappointed, frustrated, and mad at myself! So, my goal for this next year is to remind myself every time a thought comes into mind that I am a daughter of God! If the thought is negative in any way, it's going to be replaced with an elevating phrase!”

Follow through on your goals
Many of us set goals on January 1 of every year and then cheerfully begin. Within a week or two or even a month or two, our motivation to complete our goals diminishes, and our annual goals fall to the wayside. Corrin Adams from Utah offered a potential solution: “I think for me I'm using the new year to really focus on my current goals and start new goals.” Part of focusing on and starting the goals is a re-evaluation period every month or week or however long your goals are. We must be diligent in this assessment and just not quit doing them.

Even as far away as the Dominican Republic, Federico Rosario wants to become an entrepreneur and “sell household items.” Plus, Federico’s other goal is to “follow Christ and continue to go forward with the help of God who will give me wisdom.”

Continue what you begin!


Do fun family projects and family history
Many of us have family members who live fairly close to us. Others are not so lucky. Fortunately, because of the pandemic, we have all learned how to use a variety of video conferencing programs. Colleen Hammon Poole (Utah) whose children and grandchildren live all over offered a great solution to connect families in a positive way: “For Christmas, we received a question-a-week family history project. At the end of the year, we get a hardcover book of what we submitted. Fun idea—we are giving it a green light in 2022.” Marianne Christensen (Idaho) said she was going to finish her life history and her family albums, “both fun family projects.”

The old adage “families that play and learn together” stay together.

Change our attitude

Jackie ZoBell Chan (Canada) a unique way to help us to think about attitude: “People could have had the exact same experiences and someone had a great year and the other person had a miserable year. The difference is in the attitude. I had a great year by the way.” Jackie also mentioned laughing definitely changes her attitude more than most things: “I’m going to make 2022 even better by laughing more. When something doesn’t go my way, when the kids are being annoying, I’m going to laugh more. It will make 2022 lots of fun!”

Marlene Shirley (Utah) said, “I am going to try harder to not let the circumstances of life prevent me from feeling joy.”

Changing our attitudes will cause us to see the real joy in our lives.

Be more grateful and thankful for everything, even the small things
Probably one of the most prolific suggestions was to be grateful for what you have. People tend to only moan and groan about what they do not have or wish they had. Carl Harris (California) offered a suggestion to all of us: “Have a greater attitude of gratitude for blessings both seen and unseen towards our Father in Heaven and our Savior Jesus Christ!”

Robin Jergins, an Idahoan now living in Utah, was similarly succinct: “Focus on gratitude and serving others.”

Diana L. Kramer (California) was adamant about showing gratitude in 2022: “I want to show gratitude in physical and spoken ways. Giving a sincere compliment, noting someone’s efforts in challenges they may face, sending birthday cards, (yep, good old paper and stamps), greeting people I meet while out & about, sending notes to someone I’m thinking about, telling my family I LOVE YOU, whenever we talk. That should keep me busy.”

Carl, Robin, and Diane are absolutely correct. The more we focus on gratitude, we will place a priority on being thankful for what we have.


Serve others and practice charity
Serving others and practicing charity will definitely keep us off the “Woe is me” scale. David Hansen (California) had two keen insights into how to serve and help others: 1) Never let others I come in contact with go unnoticed. 2. Never suppress a charitable thought.” For him, it is about letting others know how important they are. Marianne Christensen (Idaho) also believes that “service weekly or even daily if I can” will enhance her 2022.

When we do things for others, we begin to forget about ourselves. We begin to see outward, not inward.

Be healthy
We all know that being healthy leads to a more positive life and lifestyle. Merrill McCracken (Idaho) was very pragmatic about his suggestion for a more positive 2022: “Take more precautions against COVID-like vaccines. That will help prevent the spread and save lives. Also will make life easier for everyone.” Josh Baker (West Virginia) commented that “personally, it is time for me to cut out some junk food from my diet.”

Most of us can probably think of just doing or not doing one thing that will enhance our overall health happiness.

Let learning become a more active part of my life
Learning new things often creates a newness that realigns our life more positively and fully. Kristen Vance Larsen (Utah) said one of her main goals was to ask, “What can I learn?” and “What more can I learn?” She went on to say that “Learning excites me and brings me joy, as well as delivers understanding and purpose to what I do. Even when everything falls apart or I fail miserably—if I ask, ‘what can I learn’? then everything will work for my good.”

Nathan Chase (Florida) loves the idea of learning new things. His counsel for us and himself is fairly robust: “I think I’m going to try new hobbies and activities I haven’t tried before. There’s so much to explore.”

One of the things that Eulalie Christensen (Idaho) wants to study deeply and practice “how to use conflict to create rather than contend. I have become aware of how we need to not fear or avoid conflict but embrace it and use it as our Father in Heaven does to build, but it’s something I have not practiced or seen done much so I am very interested in learning how to achieve this.”

Exploring and learning will always occupy our time and our minds with so many new and invigorating things that we will not have time to be negative.


Wallow and moan for a bit, then move forward in the best way

Dede Meredith Dyer (Utah) received some incredible advice from a wise woman years ago that she wants to share with us: “When you’re having a hard time, set a time limit, think about it, wallow in self-pity, beat yourself up about a bad decision, etc., whatever you need to do (cry, scream), then after your five, ten, fifteen minutes (or whatever time limit but not too long), your focus should be on how to move forward in the best way and what you are grateful for that is currently helping and supporting you and those you love.”

Conversely, Tamy Rogers (Alaska) does not believe in wallowing and moaning for a bit. Rather, she says, “Don’t go back and think, what should I have done? Why didn't I do that? or Why did I do that and what if I did or didn't do? or Why didn’t I listen to the Spirit when He was telling me what to do? And as the day ends count your blessings instead of your sheep.”

Thus, wallowing and moaning for a brief time may be okay to do. Just do not linger longer than you should. Move forward quickly, always looking forward to completing your goals and tasks.

Conclusion:

As you read these suggestions carefully, you will discover that many people are making changes in their lives and the lives of their families. They want to feel different than they did last year. They want to be different and make a difference in their lives and the lives of others.

As you contemplate your 2022, I sincerely hope you will be wise in making your goals and keeping them. Perhaps, your assessment is to tell someone about your goals, hire or engage a mentor or a coach to keep you on task. Whatever you decide to do, keep doing it, no matter how challenging it might be, and you will feel more positive and motivated than you ever have. Promise!

Thanks to everyone who participated by sharing with me your goals. I know there are many others who are sharing their thoughts and goals with others. I would love to hear how you are doing with your goals.

Happy 2022!






Wednesday, November 10, 2021

I am still viable!

 I just had "that" birthday that puts me in another age bracket. Plus, I have also experienced recently some trappings of ageism, so I thought I would pen a quasi-résumé poem titled, "I am still viable."


I am still viable

I confess I possess some semblance
of gray hair and a few wrinkles
around the eyes, but I still have game.
I still get up on time, actually early, meaning
I can get to work on time, with a smile.
And I don’t need coffee
or one of those booster drinks

to get me going or even keep me going.
I just keep going because I know how to work.
I learned early in life by milking cows,
chipping ice in the winter, moving pipe
in huge potato fields in Idaho,
feeding pigs and chickens, mowing lawns,
and working early and hard in the garden.

I even picked potatoes and hoed beets
in the heat and those wild eastern Idaho winds.
Plus, I went to college and over the years earned a Ph.D.
Yes, I can work circles around most
of your employees all before noon.
I realize the youth need experience and guidance
and probably a boatload of motivation.

That’s where I come in, full of experience,
a guide to help them along the way,
showing how to work the oars and steer the ship,
a high-level motivator with a kind
yet pragmatic dose of stick-to-it-ness.
Plus, I see the holistic,
understand the mission and vision,

and work diligently and persistently
to bring them to fruition,
all in collaborative, successful ways.
Yes, I may be a bit more mature
than your 30-somethings,
some still wet behind the ears,
with their freshly minted degrees,

but I still possess the success gene
and the work gene
and visionary gene
and the resilience gene
and the entrepreneurship gene,
and they have functioned fine for years—
and ready to propel your company forward.

Yes, I am still viable…



Sunday, October 24, 2021

Debbie Rae: A Shift in Reality

Debbie Rae: A Shift in Reality 


Recently, I had an incredible conversation with a good friend of mine with whom I worked when I was at Lewis-Clark State College (LCSC). Our discussion focused on the “shift in reality” when things happen in our lives, many of them without our permission, that often maneuver our thought processes and our real lives into a different realm—thus a true shift in our reality, perceived or real. Debbie experienced one of these shifts in reality just before and during COVID, and she is attempting to live within it. 

Debbie was very open and honest about what happened to her, something that may have happened to many other people. We deal with our challenges in so many different ways. This is how Debbie dealt with hers, and I wanted to share it through a conversational essay. Enjoy!


Darrel: Debbie, you have recently gone through what you call a “shift in reality.” What caused this shift? 

Debbie: As we all know, 2020 was a rough year for all of us. I found myself really struggling with my mental health. Maintaining my relationships with even those I love the most was a challenge for me. It was hard for me to “let go” and “forgive” in some instances. Some struggling relationships were because of my behavior and some weren’t, but the struggle and loss were the same and painful! 

Darrel: Aside from the COVID 2020, what precipitated the change? 

Debbie: In January of 2019, at the age of 62, I realized I was having some debilitating cognitive issues. Doing my bookkeeping that month was excruciating. Right in the middle of doing a function, my memory would “black out.” The information was just gone. I would have to relax and reroute my thinking process to bring me back to the point that I could remember what I was doing and continue with my bookkeeping. This happened many times a day. Carrying on conversations became difficult. In the middle of a sentence, I would completely forget what I was talking about. It became uncomfortable for me to hang out with my friends because carrying on a normal conversation was a struggle. I was embarrassed. 

Darrel: That had to have been extremely difficult in recognizing there was something definitely wrong with how you were thinking and necessarily knowing what was happening. 


Debbie: It was, especially in my business. I had started a business being a professional driver. That required a lot of thinking and knowing where I was going. But driving became difficult. I couldn’t go anywhere without my GPS because I would forget where I was going. I got good at hiding that because I had to. Professional driving was one of my income streams, and I needed it! 

Darrel: What was the turning point? 

Debbie: It wasn’t long that I couldn’t hide the fact that my cognitive memory was failing. As I now look back on it, there was one person I couldn’t hide it from. He was a 17-year-old young man who didn’t drive, so he hired me a few times a week to drive him back and forth to work. I adored this kid. He was one of my favorite clients. In fact, he’s the one that gave me the name for that business, Deb’s Executive Driving. Because I drove him all the time, I didn’t have to turn on the GPS because I knew where we were going. However, now I didn’t have a backup system to keep me on track, and often I would completely forget to turn into the driveway at his work. I would drive right past it and have to go around a long block to do it again to get him to work. He hung in there with me as long as he could, and then one day he just stopped texting me for a ride. I understood completely. 


Darrel: Sounds like this young man was very compassionate and was willing to work things through until he couldn’t do it any longer. What did you do when this realization finally hit you? 

Debbie: I recognized something was happening in my brain, and it was not good. Fortunately for me, I spoke and cried with my youngest daughter. She and I are very close, and she set me on a healing path with 13 simple words. “You need to look at what you’re eating and putting into your body.” 


Darrel: Sounds like an incredible revelation to you, and you were ready to change. 

Debbie: Yes, it was. I started on a discovery path to understand what was happening to me, and how I could fix it. I changed what I was eating, and I began researching dementia and Alzheimer as well as “food as medicine.” I did a bit of research and learned that by the age of 85, 50% of the world’s population will have Alzheimer's. I also learned that the amyloid plaque that builds up around the brain cells and the tau deposits which develop in the brain cells begin around the age of 40, many years before you begin to experience symptoms. 

Darrel: In your research and contemplation, what else did you learn? 

Debbie: First of all, I experienced a lot of trauma in my childhood and into my early twenties, especially emotional and physical abuse, abandonment, and excruciating loss when I had to give up my first-born child to another family to raise because I was unable to give her the life she so deserved. What arose from that traumatic period was my ability to accept change and know everything happens for a reason. There are no accidents. 


Darrel:
After you realized all this, what did you do? 

Debbie: So, when I realized my future was uncertain, I knew the only thing for me to do, besides becoming healthier and more knowledgeable, was to really live life like I was going to die tomorrow. No regrets! Get on with life and enjoy it as I never have before, and that is exactly what my divine spirit has guided me to do. 

Darrel: Once you made this decision, did everything become better? 

Debbie: No, 2020 never got any better. Instead, as travel came to a halt due to COVID, so did my transportation business in November 2020, I did realize, though, that I had no business driving anymore. I thought I had finally found my forever love, but that didn’t happen as we broke up on Christmas Day. And then came January 2021, and 15 days before I was leaving for my annual trip, I was evicted from my home, which resulted in the loss of my second income stream. I had lost everything. 


Darrel: This had to have been one of your lowest times in your life. But here you are! What did you learn from the challenges of 2020? 

Debbie: First of all, I didn’t panic. I saw the opportunities not the loss. When life gives us lemons, we make lemonade. I had a new found freedom. I had nothing I had to be accountable for anymore. I was free to do what I wanted and what I wanted was to go to the Yucatan Peninsula which I love so much. 



Darrel: Now, that is a major change. 

Debbie: Yes, a major change in so many ways. From the moment I stepped onto that airplane to go to Mexico, my life continues to get better and better. I have clarity about what is really important in life. For the first six months I lived in the beautiful town of Bacalar. I walked to the fruteria to buy fresh produce and seeing all the beauty of southern Mexico along the way. 


Darrel: What were some of the new things that you did or are now experiencing? 

Debbie: Well, I finally had time to take care of myself. My eyes were open to so many things like merely waving and saying hello and good day to my neighbors and taking the time to cook for myself whole food meals. I know what a gift it is to feel the energy of the sun on my face each morning. I begin each day with deep breathing and meditation, praying for each one of my children sending them my love and prayers that they know health, peace, and love in their lives, as well as the rest of my cherished family and friends back home. I spend time listening to what my divine self is trying to tell me and being open to its guidance.


Darrel: What are you thankful for or attribute this new view? 

Debbie: I thank our beautiful planet, Mother Earth, for her life, love, and nutrients that she freely gives to us each and every day and sending love to all of her inhabitants. I love and appreciate the incredible friendships I have here and enjoy the fun times we share together, especially with my landlords, Javier and Minerva. I don’t think I could love them anymore than I do now. Their friendship and support are a divine gift to me. I love listening to beautiful music and find myself dancing—all alone in my apartment and feeling what a gift it is to feel that happy. 


Darrel: How is your mental health now and what does your future hold? 

Debbie: Well, death is certain but that doesn’t scare me. My mental abilities definitely improved after I made behavioral changes in my life, but is that from what I was and am doing or is it the evolution of the disease? I don’t know. Stay tuned! 


Darrel: What you say to people who are experiencing some of the same things you are? 

Debbie: Please learn something from my experiences! I believe it can be prevented by taking the correct self-care measures. I do not know everything, but this is what I do know: We can’t control everything! But we can control how we react to it. Some days I think I’m fine, and some days things happen that make me worry a little that it may be regressing. But I only worry a little. For me, I’m not going to waste this precious time worrying about something I can’t control. I’m too busy being happy! 

Darrel: Debbie, so many thanks to you. I know this has been—and probably will continue to be—a challenging path for you. But I love your positivity and your willingness to not waste your precious time worrying. Thank you so much for sharing and being so open with us. We wish you well. 

Debbie: Thank you!