Recently, I had an incredible conversation with a good friend of mine with whom I worked when I was at Lewis-Clark State College (LCSC). Our discussion focused on the “shift in reality” when things happen in our lives, many of them without our permission, that often maneuver our thought processes and our real lives into a different realm—thus a true shift in our reality, perceived or real. Debbie experienced one of these shifts in reality just before and during COVID, and she is attempting to live within it.
Debbie was very open and honest about what happened to her, something that may have happened to many other people. We deal with our challenges in so many different ways. This is how Debbie dealt with hers, and I wanted to share it through a conversational essay. Enjoy!
Darrel: Debbie, you have recently gone through what you call a “shift in reality.” What caused this shift?
Debbie: As we all know, 2020 was a rough year for all of us. I found myself really struggling with my mental health. Maintaining my relationships with even those I love the most was a challenge for me. It was hard for me to “let go” and “forgive” in some instances. Some struggling relationships were because of my behavior and some weren’t, but the struggle and loss were the same and painful!
Darrel: Aside from the COVID 2020, what precipitated the change?
Debbie: In January of 2019, at the age of 62, I realized I was having some debilitating cognitive issues. Doing my bookkeeping that month was excruciating. Right in the middle of doing a function, my memory would “black out.” The information was just gone. I would have to relax and reroute my thinking process to bring me back to the point that I could remember what I was doing and continue with my bookkeeping. This happened many times a day. Carrying on conversations became difficult. In the middle of a sentence, I would completely forget what I was talking about. It became uncomfortable for me to hang out with my friends because carrying on a normal conversation was a struggle. I was embarrassed.
Darrel: That had to have been extremely difficult in recognizing there was something definitely wrong with how you were thinking and necessarily knowing what was happening.
Debbie: It was, especially in my business. I had started a business being a professional driver. That required a lot of thinking and knowing where I was going. But driving became difficult. I couldn’t go anywhere without my GPS because I would forget where I was going. I got good at hiding that because I had to. Professional driving was one of my income streams, and I needed it!
Darrel: What was the turning point?
Debbie: It wasn’t long that I couldn’t hide the fact that my cognitive memory was failing. As I now look back on it, there was one person I couldn’t hide it from. He was a 17-year-old young man who didn’t drive, so he hired me a few times a week to drive him back and forth to work. I adored this kid. He was one of my favorite clients. In fact, he’s the one that gave me the name for that business, Deb’s Executive Driving. Because I drove him all the time, I didn’t have to turn on the GPS because I knew where we were going. However, now I didn’t have a backup system to keep me on track, and often I would completely forget to turn into the driveway at his work. I would drive right past it and have to go around a long block to do it again to get him to work. He hung in there with me as long as he could, and then one day he just stopped texting me for a ride. I understood completely.
Darrel: Sounds like this young man was very compassionate and was willing to work things through until he couldn’t do it any longer. What did you do when this realization finally hit you?
Debbie: I recognized something was happening in my brain, and it was not good. Fortunately for me, I spoke and cried with my youngest daughter. She and I are very close, and she set me on a healing path with 13 simple words. “You need to look at what you’re eating and putting into your body.”
Darrel: Sounds like an incredible revelation to you, and you were ready to change.
Debbie: Yes, it was. I started on a discovery path to understand what was happening to me, and how I could fix it. I changed what I was eating, and I began researching dementia and Alzheimer as well as “food as medicine.” I did a bit of research and learned that by the age of 85, 50% of the world’s population will have Alzheimer's. I also learned that the amyloid plaque that builds up around the brain cells and the tau deposits which develop in the brain cells begin around the age of 40, many years before you begin to experience symptoms.
Darrel: In your research and contemplation, what else did you learn?
Debbie: First of all, I experienced a lot of trauma in my childhood and into my early twenties, especially emotional and physical abuse, abandonment, and excruciating loss when I had to give up my first-born child to another family to raise because I was unable to give her the life she so deserved. What arose from that traumatic period was my ability to accept change and know everything happens for a reason. There are no accidents.
Darrel: After you realized all this, what did you do?
Debbie: So, when I realized my future was uncertain, I knew the only thing for me to do, besides becoming healthier and more knowledgeable, was to really live life like I was going to die tomorrow. No regrets! Get on with life and enjoy it as I never have before, and that is exactly what my divine spirit has guided me to do.
Darrel: Once you made this decision, did everything become better?
Debbie: No, 2020 never got any better. Instead, as travel came to a halt due to COVID, so did my transportation business in November 2020, I did realize, though, that I had no business driving anymore. I thought I had finally found my forever love, but that didn’t happen as we broke up on Christmas Day. And then came January 2021, and 15 days before I was leaving for my annual trip, I was evicted from my home, which resulted in the loss of my second income stream. I had lost everything.
Darrel: This had to have been one of your lowest times in your life. But here you are! What did you learn from the challenges of 2020?
Debbie: First of all, I didn’t panic. I saw the opportunities not the loss. When life gives us lemons, we make lemonade. I had a new found freedom. I had nothing I had to be accountable for anymore. I was free to do what I wanted and what I wanted was to go to the Yucatan Peninsula which I love so much.
Darrel: Now, that is a major change.
Debbie: Yes, a major change in so many ways. From the moment I stepped onto that airplane to go to Mexico, my life continues to get better and better. I have clarity about what is really important in life. For the first six months I lived in the beautiful town of Bacalar. I walked to the fruteria to buy fresh produce and seeing all the beauty of southern Mexico along the way.
Darrel: What were some of the new things that you did or are now experiencing?
Debbie: Well, I finally had time to take care of myself. My eyes were open to so many things like merely waving and saying hello and good day to my neighbors and taking the time to cook for myself whole food meals. I know what a gift it is to feel the energy of the sun on my face each morning. I begin each day with deep breathing and meditation, praying for each one of my children sending them my love and prayers that they know health, peace, and love in their lives, as well as the rest of my cherished family and friends back home. I spend time listening to what my divine self is trying to tell me and being open to its guidance.
Darrel: What are you thankful for or attribute this new view?
Debbie: I thank our beautiful planet, Mother Earth, for her life, love, and nutrients that she freely gives to us each and every day and sending love to all of her inhabitants. I love and appreciate the incredible friendships I have here and enjoy the fun times we share together, especially with my landlords, Javier and Minerva. I don’t think I could love them anymore than I do now. Their friendship and support are a divine gift to me. I love listening to beautiful music and find myself dancing—all alone in my apartment and feeling what a gift it is to feel that happy.
Darrel: How is your mental health now and what does your future hold?
Debbie: Well, death is certain but that doesn’t scare me. My mental abilities definitely improved after I made behavioral changes in my life, but is that from what I was and am doing or is it the evolution of the disease? I don’t know. Stay tuned!
Darrel: What you say to people who are experiencing some of the same things you are?
Debbie: Please learn something from my experiences! I believe it can be prevented by taking the correct self-care measures. I do not know everything, but this is what I do know: We can’t control everything! But we can control how we react to it. Some days I think I’m fine, and some days things happen that make me worry a little that it may be regressing. But I only worry a little. For me, I’m not going to waste this precious time worrying about something I can’t control. I’m too busy being happy!
Darrel: Debbie, so many thanks to you. I know this has been—and probably will continue to be—a challenging path for you. But I love your positivity and your willingness to not waste your precious time worrying. Thank you so much for sharing and being so open with us. We wish you well.
Debbie: Thank you!
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