"Local Woman Helps Wedding Dreams Turn into Reality"

Tamara Ashworth Fackrell
 "Local Woman Helps Wedding Dreams Turn into Reality"
by Darrel L. Hammon

Published in the Daily Herald, "Local Woman Helps Wedding Dreams Turn into Reality," October 15, 2022, Our Towns: Making A Difference," pp. C1 (C4). Read it here:   https://mynewsonthego.com/provo/Epaper/PdfReader.aspx?pageid=250f5211-1e79-4153-8d20-0b0437c786a4&freeid=990ff282-8e70-4476-bd8a-da63641757ab&tarp=11d4fed5-1ce8-4899-85b6-c48d919bc810&signInAction=&isPhony=0&isMgr=0&isEdit=0&isBook=0&search=

Tamara Ashworth Fackrell is a renowned divorce and mediation attorney with a Ph.D. in Marriage, Family, and Human Development who speaks at a variety of international conferences, is a guest on podcasts, writes children’s books and music, and is a busy mother and spouse. What more can she do with her 24 hours?

Los Fackrell y Nancy

Somewhere, though, with her 24 hours and her busy life, she has dedicated time and space to help people in the Dominican Republic.

A few years ago, Tamara’s son Stirling returned home early from an LDS Mission in Philadelphia because of health reasons and COVID but still wanted to serve. Tamara was soon put in contact with Louise ZoBell, director of the Dominican Starfish Foundation, and the two discussed a potential service project for Stirling.

As Louise said, “We can create an adventure for him!” The adventure became a six-month home-building project in the Puerto Plata area with the Dominican Starfish Foundation. He thrived building houses for people in need. 

Stirling and Cara

One of Tamara’s other sons, Ashdon, and his wife Samantha, decided to accompany Stirling to the DR. They were going to drop him off and stay just a couple of weeks, but a project teaching English enticed them to stay. Plus, they thought they could improve their Spanish while teaching English and helping people find Christ.

While the trio were in Puerto Plata, they also worked with the missionaries and ultimately helped 14 people become members of the Church. One of the main challenges they found during their stay, from January-June 2021, was that the people who wanted to follow Christ were unmarried but not by choice. Because of the wedding costs, particularly the prohibitive cost of a marriage license, they couldn’t afford it.

 Ashdon commented that he “felt like his mom out there trying to get people married.” He asked his mom to host two weddings. In June 2021, the whole family flew to the Dominican Republic, hosted the weddings, and completed some other humanitarian projects. 

One of the recipient families 

Despite the high costs of supplies, Tamara said, “we hosted two beautiful weddings.”

Over the past several decades, Tamara had worked as a divorce lawyer and mediator for over 4,000 cases. Because she loves families, children, peace, and good marriage practices, including co-parenting, she decided that helping people with their weddings would become her passion project.

The biggest challenge with weddings in the DR is the cost. A simple wedding, with very few frills, costs around $150-$175, and a wedding license is around $125. The average monthly salary for a person working in the country is around $200.

After Tamara and her family had left the country, a local bride, Nancy, emailed Tamara with an idea to host weddings. Tamara thought it was a wonderful idea and agreed. She said, “I wanted to help the Dominican Starfish Foundation’s community center so they could host a level of a wedding we host in our backyard in Utah.” 

Nancy and her husband Roberto!

Over the next six months, she bought all of the items one would need for a wedding: curtains, chairs, chair covers, ribbons, tables, serving dishes, and more. They literally gave the Center a “wedding party in a box.”

According to Tamara, the “best gift you can give a host is a complete set of everything to host a wedding.”

Tamara bought and received donations for wedding dresses and tuxedos in a variety of sizes, flower girl dresses, flowers, inexpensive rings, cake stands, a demonstration cake made for photos, and other wedding must-haves. More creative wedding ideas emerged, and Nancy soon became the project’s volunteer director.

When Tamara talks about the wedding project and Stirling’s time building houses, she tearily proclaims, “It was a blessing for us to see all of the tender mercies that emerged.” 

 

Each wedding is unique. Because of this, every one led to its own challenges. Tamara talked about one wedding where the groom was so large that he couldn’t fit into any of the tuxedos. They rushed out and found a tailor who could create a tuxedo to fit him. Plus, the rings didn’t fit! So, they went to a jewelry store and had them make one to fit the man. Last but not least was, in Tamara’s words, “a humongous shirt.”

One of Tamara’s goals is to learn Spanish, using a language app and with the help of her husband, Jake, who is fluent in Spanish. She wants so desperately to be able to communicate with everyone in their language.

Tamara hit a linguistic milestone during her most recent trip to the DR in June 2022. She wrote and gave her first talk in Spanish. While she still needs the practice, Tamara is looking forward to fluency and more opportunities to help.

She said, “It is all about making a small difference. I love the idea of me helping other people and other people helping others and spreading the joy. Part of that joy is having each couple pay it forward.” 

The Fackrells and Nancy and Roberto, the newlyweds

 

On a return trip to the island, to see a finished home that Stirling helped build, he met a young woman named Cara who was part of an English language program that helped young Dominicans learn English. Stirling and Cara dated, decided to marry, and planned a wedding reception in the DR.

While Tamara and her husband celebrated their son, Nancy organized a surprise thank you reception for them with over 100 attendees. Nancy said, “35 of the couples who were married as part of the wedding project came to say thank you and then greeted Tamara and Jake with a kiss and a gift.”

Tamara said she cried her eyes out witnessing the gesture. “If you give your little portions, you get paid back with gratitude and through helping people in need.”

One of the keys to her success, Tamara revealed, is working with Louise ZoBell and the Dominican Starfish Foundation: “Because of the Dominican Starfish Foundation’s example and work, we decided to form our own foundation. It recently received 501 (c) 3 status required in the United States, and we are working on solidifying its status in the Dominican Republic, which is a process in and of itself.” Thus, the Change the World Foundation was born.

Currently, Nancy directs the Change the World Foundation’s wedding project and associated humanitarian projects. They contact donors who will donate the cost of a wedding, which hovers around $175. One year later, the Foundation has sponsored 69 marriages—with more on the way. 

Tamara and her Dominican amigas!

For those who want to be involved in a foundation or even create their own foundation, Tamara’s recommendation is clear and poignant. “You need to work inside your passion place,” she said. “When you give to people what is your passion, that’s where it pays you back….that’s what makes the difference and keeps you in the community long term.”

Tamara calls what she has done and is doing “my small, tiny, little drip.” Those who have witnessed what she is doing would say that her drip is a “mighty gushing of passion and compassion for those most in need.”

Interested people can contact Tamara Ashworth Fackrell by going online to https://changetheworldfoundation.net or on Instagram @mindful_marriage.

Tamara's family