“Six ways to expand your horizons in life and continually move forward”

How to Climb Out of Your Shell

I grew up in a small Idaho farming community, population 596, where pretty much everyone knew everyone. In my youth, I visited Utah, Yellowstone National Park, Oklahoma and Glacier National Park, and that’s pretty much it. I had chores; milked a cow; fed chickens, pigs and horses; worked on my Uncle’s and friend’s farms; moved sprinkler pipe; mowed lawns; and sold nightcrawlers to fishermen.

In reality, I didn’t get out much. I wasn’t necessarily shy, per se. Perhaps, the better word was a bit naïve about life in general. Then, something tremendous happened: I served a two-year mission for my Church in southern Chile, about 6,000-plus miles away from my home. It propelled me to climb out of my shell and “be up and doing!”

Since then, I have lived, worked and served in a variety of states and the Caribbean (Dominican Republic). I have had to be up and doing to survive and thrive in all these situations.

So, what helped me climb out of my shell? Here are six approaches that helped me:

1. First, I changed my mindset.

The question is: “How do I move from where I am to where I need to be?” For me, moving from a small community to a country like Chile with a different culture and language was absolutely mind-boggling. I really didn’t know the language, although I spent two months full time in a very intensive Spanish program. It was a shock when we landed to hear people speak so quickly. I turned to my companion and said, “Are you sure we are in the right country?” From that day, I was determined to learn the language, the culture, love the people, and do my very best. My mindset changed to focus on what I was asked to do, and I just did it. Consequently, I elevated my thoughts to where I need to be, and I continue to elevate them—all because I changed my mindset at the beginning of the experience.

2. I was willing to learn new things.

To improve yourself, no matter what the situation, you must be willing to learn new things. I am a proponent of “lifelong learning” because that’s what I have done over the years. In essence, I believe you are either progressing or retrogressing. There is no such thing as stagnation. You are either improving or taking a step back. Being a lifelong learner does not necessarily mean that you are working on degrees your entire life; rather, it means that you learn something new each day, week, month or even year. You can learn a new language, a new software program, how to write well, how to become a better coach/mentor, how to watercolor, and even how to make your bed each morning before you leave the house. Be willing to learn. Seek learning opportunities. Most progressive companies offer great training and educational benefits to enhance your skills. If you work for a business, take advantage!

3. I did things I had never done before.

I think of everything I had to do when I lived in Chile I had never done before—ride a bus, walk everywhere I went, learn a new language and culture, talk to everyone I met, use an umbrella, eat food that was definitely foreign (delicious, though!). Since I decided to change my mindset and to learn new things, it was easier for me to move forward and try things I had never done. I did my best not to worry about it. I just did them, and it became part of my DNA. Yes, there were some things I never ate again. I learned how to read a bus map. I just did what I needed to do, knowing that I would become a better person for doing it.

4. I learned from my not-so-good choices.

I confess: All choices I have made over time were not good, although most were. One major faux paus happened when I first began driving a truck during potato harvest. Being from Idaho, that’s what you did during potato harvest: pick potatoes, work on a potato combine, work in the cellar, or drive a truck once you had your driver’s license, which I obtained during my freshman year of high school. I was going up to gas up—in this case diesel up. I was not paying close enough attention and took the turn that led to the diesel pump, which was a big barrel on stilts, a little closer than I should have and clipped the pump’s nozzle, spinning diesel fuel all over the truck and ground. By the time we got it stopped, I was soaked in diesel and filled with remorse and guilt because of my stupidity. Thankfully, the owner of the farm was tolerant and kinder than he should have been. The result was I was much more careful and have tried to be a very astute and conscientious driver ever since then—no matter what I am driving.

5. I used mentors along the way to help me through the challenging times.

Mentors are life savers. My first companion in the mission field was exceptional! He had been a standout athlete at his school, spoke Spanish really well, walked amazingly fast, and taught me how to study and learn in ways I never thought imaginable. Despite a mere 1.5-year age difference, he was a giant in my eyes. The rest of my mission was patterned after how he taught me. Other mentors along the way helped me see things differently, asked tough questions, guided me through some challenging times, and offered counsel and advice that ultimately motivated me to do even better. I have taken what they have taught me and applied it in my own tutoring, mentoring and coaching. It has just aligned with me.

6. Finally, and most importantly, I relied on my family, particularly my wife.

To be honest, I married way up! My wife Joanne has been a saint. I am not the easiest person to live with, but her patience and kindness have helped me in all aspects of my life. During every degree program, she constantly supported me and reviewed every essay/article I ever wrote. During my dissertation writing, I wrote for hours every day for weeks. She would stop in to see how I was doing, reviewed and commented on what I had written, made delicious meals, and went on weekly dates with me just to make sure I saw the light of day and forgot about the challenges with writing and doing research for a dissertation. For that, I owe my all to her and my family.

Overall, the key to climbing out of your shell is to “be up and doing.” Changing your mindset, learning to do new and sometimes challenging things you have never done before, and utilizing great mentors along the way, particularly your family, are keys to success. It definitely will take great patience, persistence and diligence to continually move forward, with a few steps backwards here and there. But just keep moving in the direction where you want to go, and you will make it—eventually!

Read the entire March 2025 Transformation Coaching Magazine here: https://transformationmag.com/tcm-march-2025. My article is on pp. 24-27. 

“Making a Difference: Crossing guards are unsung protectors of the community”

 “Making a Difference: Crossing guards are unsung protectors of the community”

 Link to the Daily Herald article: https://www.heraldextra.com/news/community/2023/jun/17/making-a-difference-crossing-guards-are-unsung-protectors-of-the-community/

Some of the unsung heroes in the city are school crossing guards. They come early in the morning — no matter the weather — don their reflective vests, set out the orange cones and hoist their stop signs.

They wait on street corners opposite the school, watching for children and parents while taking their lives into their own hands as they walk into the street to stop traffic. Interestingly, crossing guards do not work for the school district. In Provo, they actually work for the Provo Police Department.

“When they changed to federal funding for the Safe Passage for Children, overseeing the crossing guards switched to the Provo City Police Department,” said Erica Pimentel, Special Operations Division (SOD) Senior Administrator. “All 47 crossing guards in the City of Provo have basically one role: to protect children. And that’s what they do.”

Crossing guards are unique individuals who come from a variety of backgrounds — most being moms with children at the school, former teachers and senior citizens. A few commonalities, though, help align them with becoming a crossing guard, including their love for children. Another common thread is that they either have or have had a friend who was a crossing guard, or they have worked in education on some level.

Frances Rico, a single mother of twins and a little chihuahua, has been a daycare operator and owner who loves children. She became a crossing guard because a friend was one. “When my friend said I should do it I said ‘no, no, no!’ But then I thought that it would be a good way to get out of the house,” she said.

Another crossing guard, Connie Robison, is a former private school teacher and certified emotional healer. She, too, had a friend who loved being a crossing guard. “It occurred to me after talking to Merna that I would like it, especially because I love children,” Connie said.

Connie’s friend is Merna Talbot, an 83-year-old former kindergarten teacher and teacher’s assistant, and has been a crossing guard for almost a decade. “Being a crossing guard is natural for someone who likes children,” Merna said. “It helps me get up and gives me something to do in the morning. I love watching children grow up.”

Parents love crossing guards. One young mother of a first grader breathed a sigh of relief once she learned there was a crossing guard on the path to school.

“They are so necessary,” she said. “When the crossing guard is here, everything seems to go smoothly, and the cars are more responsive. Sometimes, when she is not here, it is challenging crossing the street because cars do not seem to want to stop. I am glad they have crossing guards.”

Ernestina, the mother to a 7-year-old and a 10-year-old, comes each morning and crosses the street. She stays and talks to Frances until she finishes her work. Over the past two-plus years, she has become an extra set of eyes for Frances and has seen her share of near-tragic situations.

“I have watched cars creep into the crosswalk even when the children are trying to cross,” Ernestina said. “Sometimes, they don’t even wait for the children to cross or the crossing guard to get back to the curb before they speed through. With a crossing guard, I feel that my children are safer when they cross the street.”

While being a crossing guard is an opportunity to project children, a few challenges do occur. When asked about the challenges, the crossing guards had different answers, depending on their situation. Frances said, “The traffic. The drivers. “They just don’t pay attention.”

Connie discussed a different challenge. “It has been the weather for me. This year we had lots of snow,” Connie said. “When the snowplow came, they just rolled up a bunch of ice and snow at the crosswalks. I tried calling the police, but no one responded. I brought a shovel from home and tried to get it off. I got most of it off. I sometimes used my stop sign to scrap off the snow that the snowplow left so it wouldn’t freeze on.”

No matter what, these crossing guards walk into the crosswalks, their reflective vests visible and stop sign held high to ward off the cars. Students then head into the street while the crossing guards hold the cars at bay until the students and their parents make it to the other side. Then, the crossing guard heads back to the corner where they breathe a sigh of relief and wait for another group of children.

Some of the children do not speak English and, instead of not connecting with them, Connie decided she was going to learn Spanish. When she asked a new little boy what grade he was in, he said “No English.”

“I went home and asked Google how to say, ‘what grade are you in,'” Connie said. “I practiced that phrase and used it the next day.” She continues to practice Spanish so she can communicate with Hispanic students.

A unique and close relationship occurs between a crossing guard and a child. Often, the children stop and talk to the crossing guards. When they cross, they say “thank you,” “good morning,” “May God be with you,” or “Have a nice day!”

The week before Mother’s Day, one of the students brought Connie flowers. “It was the sweetest thing, totally unexpected,” Connie said. “I was so appreciative. Other times, the children have given me a gift card to Target or other special cards. It is really wonderful that they appreciate what I do.”

Merna spoke of many stories that have special places in her heart. “The children tell me what is happening in their lives and invite me to their birthday parties, ballgames, and other activities. I sometimes even go to their events,” Merna said. “They see me as a friend. It is just a great neighborhood feeling.”

For Frances, it’s the little things. “The children have given me treats, drawn me pictures, and given me things at Christmas. One day, some of them commented how much they loved my nails. Another child made me a stop sign and a vest. Kids are just nice to work with.”

All crossing guards had four strong invitations to people as they approach a crosswalk around a school area:

 “Slow down, please!

• Get off your phones!
• Pay attention!
• Be aware of the safety of the people and not just concerned about getting to work!” 

Crossing guards want to make a difference by helping children and parents feel safe. Many people do not understand the challenges of being a crossing guard. “You do it because it is part of the day. It’s one of my favorite times of the day,” Frances said. “Even if I am in a bad mood, the children always make me smile. Kids are always happy. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

Crossing Guard are truly guardians of the community.

 Anyone wanting more information about becoming a crossing guard can email Erica Pimentel at epimentel@provo.org.

"Resolutions or no resolutions: leading to a new you!"

"Resolutions or no resolutions: leading to a new you."
By Darrel L. Hammon

Published January 1, 2025 in https://www.transformationmag.com/2025/01/resolutions-or-no-resolutions/, pp. 28-31.

Some years ago, in a meeting with other leaders, we discussed making resolutions and whether making resolutions was whether the practice was still in vogue. Interestingly, the discussion had just two sides: yes and no. One leader representing the negative stated “No one makes resolutions anymore.” Another, representing the positive, stated: “We need to help people turn resolutions into reality.” I sided with the positive, and the following are six reasons why I believe we should develop and complete resolutions AND create strategies for turning them into reality.

1. Resolutions are not passé.

A decade ago, CBS conducted a poll that basically stated that “sixty-eight percent of Americans surveyed said they don’t make New Year’s resolutions—up 10 percentage points from two years ago.” Those percentages may have changed over the past ten years. Other research shows that making resolutions is still in vogue. Wharton School researchers Dai, Milkman, and Ri called the idea of making resolutions the “fresh start effect,” concluding that many of the fresh starts began at the beginning of the year or at the beginning of “temporal landmarks” (See https://faculty.wharton.upenn.edu/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Dai_Fresh_Start_2014_Mgmt_Sci.pdf). These landmarks can be birthdays, marriage dates, the first of the year, or any time the person wants a fresh start. Perhaps, instead of naming them resolutions, we should call resolutions “fresh starts.”

2. Resolutions propel us toward self-improvement.

Most of us want to improve our lives, one way or another. What we need to realize is making and completing resolutions help us improve our lives. During the leadership discussion, one leader mentioned that we should “accept the burden of self-improvement.” In a Forbes magazine article, Ashley Feinstein discussed some research Gail Matthews from Dominican University wrote about goal settings. Feinstein stated that “those who wrote down their goals accomplished significantly more than those who did not write down their goals. Making and keep resolution help improve our lives” (See https://www.forbes.com/sites/ellevate/2014/04/08/why-you-should-be-writing-down-your-goals/).

3. Resolutions lead to intentionally planning our lives.

Throughout history, particularly in recent history, people believe they should live spontaneously. One of the leaders in the discussion called this spontaneity “accidental living,” just doing whatever comes up and not caring for what comes after, causing us not to worry about the potential consequences. This spontaneous living creates challenges and maybe even life-threatening actions. Usually somewhere along the way, people stop and confess that they have wasted their lives. Many then work hard in making the appropriate changes through creating goals and resolutions to change and then sticking to them. Making and completing resolutions leads to intentionally living well. We ultimately have the choice to do or not to do.

4. Resolutions help us answer the question “Where do I need to improve?”

Often in workplace annual assessments or evaluations, the question is asked: “Where do you think you need to improve?” Most good leaders know exactly where employees need to improve. They want us to be conscientious in acknowledging our short comings and/or our performance. Consequently, we create goals to improve our performance, develop strategies, and then work hard so our next performance evaluation is a stellar one. Additionally, we also ought to do a personal periodic review to propel us to determine what we need to improve our personal lives.

5. Leaders make resolutions.

Great leaders make goals/resolutions, create objectives that are measurable, develop strategies to achieve the objectives, and then assess how they successfully or unsuccessfully completed their goals and objectives. Some years ago, the Holden Leadership Center at the University of Oregon wrote: “Goals help define your organization, give direction and avoid chaos” (see https://holden.uoregon.edu/leadership) . Thus, leaders do not haphazardly follow a path. They know what they want and seek diligently in accomplishing their tasks..

6. Resolutions do not allow status quo.

In reality, there is no such thing as status quo. Either you are progressing or retrogressing. Most of us—thankfully—have to be doing something that improves our lives. Making and completing resolutions propels us forward for the most part. Granted, some of us do not keep our goals. In the CBS Poll, only “three in 10 Americans say they usually make New Year’s resolutions — but only about half keep them.” The challenge for not completing hinges not making obtainable goals or making too many. In a recent PositivePsychology article titled “The Science & Psychology Of Goal-Setting 101,” we learn that “[g]oal-setting in psychology is an essential tool for self-motivation and self-drivenness – both at personal and professional levels. It gives meaning to our actions and the purpose of achieving something higher” (https://positivepsychology.com/goal-setting-psychology/).

Into Action!
The key to making goals and resolutions hinges on the power of developing strategies. For example, a goal statement of “I will read ten books this year” is just that: a statement. A few questions must be asked, “How are you going to read ten books?” Which ones? When will you read them? We develop a plan of action, i.e., create strategies, which allows us definitive guidance as to HOW we are going to accomplish our goals. All goals need strategies that guide us through our short-term and long-term goals.

Whether you call it setting goals, making New Year’s resolutions, creating lifestyle changes, or developing a fresh start, doing something to improve your life, health, attitude, eating habits, exercise, or spiritual being will eventually lead you to self-improvement. When we gang up on ourselves by making dozens of resolutions or changes in our life at the same time, we will melt into oblivion and pound ourselves for not accomplishing all of the tasks. The key is to take one step at a time so that our goals can really become part of our new reality!